Good Morning.

Well not such a good morning since I am awake at stupid o'clock in the morning. Our house still sits, unwanted, on the market, nary a nibble. I suppose the fact that this weekend was Mother's day may have contributed (Happy Mother's day to any Moms who follow me) but that only explains Sunday. We close on the new house Friday. This means we must begin the renovation of the 5th bedroom into the second master bath. I am not ready for that. I haven't settled on a floor plan. My folks are involved in the fact that they want Veto rights but for the most part it is up to me. If you have been reading a while you know that I'm not terribly fond of having that kind of responsibility. I'm pretty sure my overwhelming dread at the coming flurry of change is responsible for my insomnia. What can I say, nothing I can do. Well, not completely nothing. I did manage a run on Saturday. I'm quite sore now and my lungs (asthma) protested the bit of cold in the air. It wasn't that cold but just enough to give me pain in my chest and a cough. I'm thinking I will run again on Thursday. Tuesday and Wednesday I have to be aat work too early to fit it in nd this morning is too soon. One must be careful starting up running after a break to avoid injury. I can't afford an injury, far too much to do.

I need the running though, I need the stress reduction. I will get a little lost in the remodel, I know, but it will not be the good kind of relaxing lost, it will be the put my head down and grunt through it kind. I'm pretty focued when I need to be, not sure how healthy it is but I get through it. I have no shrink, no therapist, so nothing external to get me through, nothing but running and here and we all know how frequently I get here anymore. It's a cross between lack of time and speechlessness, the two conspire to prevent me from the release I get here.

Today I forced myself to write even though I would rather be binge watching a show. I want to forget about the impending rush. I'm sick from thinking about and and it's only going to get worse.

Friday....God!

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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