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2014-05-02 - 5:08 a.m.

I'm feeling tired, a little like I'm getting sick but I am not sure it isn't just lack of sleep. I can't sleep. I have been waking up a lot at night and last night I was so very thirsty I kept waking up to drink. My throat is dry. I got up for some tea and honey, good for throat issues of any kind. I know My Darling is having his own issues with sleep. Of course he always feels he doesn't get enough sleep. Getting up at 4:30 am is wearing and for 8 hours sleep he should be in bead asleep at 8 pm but seriously, that is insanely early for me. Some swing shift nights I don't even get home till then. We struggle with balancing our desire to head to bed together and my difficultly going to bed that early. I know my Darling understands the difficulty for me but he misses me and how can I fault that?

Work hasn't paid off lately. It's hard to work that hard and walk our with less than usual. Sales have been down and tips have been down as well, the combination isn't good. Honestly I am not sure how much I have for groceries this week. The frustration that accompanies this job is harder to take when the money isn't there. Also I am having a harder time with the folks who just don't pull their weight. Maybe because I am not sleeping well, leaving me tired and I am stressed about the house, making me emotionally weak but doing other peoples work all the time is getting old. The other women I work with, the ones who do their work, lay bets on whether Someone will do their job or I will do it for them. I am always the one doing it. They are of the opinion that the lazy folks don't do their job because they know I will do it for them but when I take the stand and purposely avoid doing their work I get screwed because they still don't do their work and I end up trying to do the work in the middle of rush. I prefer to do it before rush so my customers don't suffer and then take it out on me financially. Wears me out though.

Oh, my kid, he is my ground. He always makes me smile. When he is a child and lets face it that is really what they are when they are mis-behaving, we are strong and consistent but even at his worst he is still such a very good little boy. We are so very lucky. Lately I have taken to reminding myself of how lucky I really am. I have a husband who loves me and whom I love, a son who is the light of my life and parents who are still with me and whom will soon be a immediate part of my life. I can't be happier for my son who will have the privilege of living with his grand parents.

Every thing will be alright, everything will be alright..my new mantra, everything will be alright.

I wish you Peace

~alison~


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Arrrg - 2014-06-22

Into the Attic - 2014-06-21

First night - 2014-06-20

Quick update - 2014-06-19

The rush is coming - 2014-05-12


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