I was up bright and early this morning (ok it wasn�t bright but it was early). Darling heads off to work at stupid o�clock (that's 3:30 am) in the morning and some mornings I awake with him and simply can�t go back to sleep. He is of the opinion if I try I could but I know myself better than he does. The other day I visited with him on his drive to work by phone and then dropped back off to sleep. I laid in bed talking in the dark and an hour after hanging up fell back to sleep for another couple hours. That day I felt I could sleep gain, today I did not. He busted me heating up coffee in the microwave (damn microwave) and was disappointed I wasn�t going back to sleep today. *Sigh* What can I do?

Of course now a day the only time I get to write is early in the morning. While that isn�t true it feels true to me since I don�t seem to be motivated to write during the day. I am fascinated with Baby Boy when he is awake and when he sleeps I set upon the many daily tasks of housekeeping.

Currently I am working on my car. I had intended on completing the bathroom this week. I applied my last coat of mud to the walls and need only to lightly sand and texture the spots. Older walls have a texture to them that makes any drywall repair stand out in its smoothness. I think I have found a way to texture the repair so it blends in using water and a towel. If anyone has a better suggestion I�m open. Instead I am stuck doing car repair. My Ck engine light came on and the performance of the care backed up the indicator as to something being wrong. CEL is always part of the emission system so I wasn�t horribly concerned but I don�t like to drive a vehicle that is compromised. Yesterday I checked the codes and found out the I@C valve is indicated. The book (love those make/model car books) gives a test and the part passed so I�m thinking it just needs to be cleaned. This still involves RnRing the part. I don�t have to take much apart to get to it (it�s under the air intake) but I have to remove coolant lines which may lead to burping the radiator (not labor intensive but time consuming). To add to the fun it is still uncomfortably cold around here. I work in the garage and dress appropriate but there is no way to get around cold hands touching cold car parts. I never could work on cars in gloves, even mechanic gloves. Most of the time I am working in a pretty small space and they just get in the way. I hate working on cars in the cold. Still I�m happy that I have the option. I�m pretty sure the job would garner more than $500 in a shop (the part alone runs $150 and most places add up the part 200% before adding labor (it�s a way of charging you without looking like they are charging you.) If you complain they can �knock� off some of the labor coast and still come out ahead. It makes me mad because most people think mechanics are thieves and the reality is the shops pull the major slice. Most mechanics are struggling to make a buck relying on commission. Some weeks it�s peanut butter and crackers and others its steak, a little like a waitress actually.

The bathroom must wait.

Baby Boy is still rocking on his hands and knees and can only seem to scoot backwards. He is also becoming a master head bonker. I know that mobility is right around the corner. Of course he is currently pretty mobile using the scoot backwards/roll technique but true mobility will come with actual crawling. I hope to see his first successful crawl. They possibility that I might miss it exists now with my Darling taking care of him at night while I work but things are about to change and the new arrangement might see some one other than us witnessing his firsts (woe is me). The scare that we experienced has left us re-evaluating our current working arrangement. I tortured myself before the exam with thoughts of My Darling left alone to take care of Baby Boy and me leaving both My Darling and Baby Boy. My Darling on the other hand didn�t consider that reality until I went in for the procedure. We both realized that we weren�t happy never seeing each other. I love Baby Boy but I love My Darling as well. Something had to give. I will be moving to the dayshift at work soon. I will still work at least one night (Sunday) to fulfill my weekend commitment and still allow the possibility of trips to my parents but the rest of my days will be days. Baby Boy will spend the hours I am at work at his Aunts with his cousin. She will have the pleasure of witnessing his firsts (maybe). Most of the time he spends there he will be napping. I feed him when he gets up and drop him off just before his morning nap. She will feed him lunch (please no fruit or sweet stuff) and then he will play and nap again waking in time for me to bring him home. Only two hours of �awake� time away from me. I am jealous that she gets to spend all her time with her baby (and soon some with mine) but I know that she also sacrifices time with her husband because he works a lot of OT so she can stay home. Everybody trades off. My other sister in law works full time and only gets to spend a few hours with her daughter. I hope to find a place somewhere in between. I will have evenings with my husband and my son. We will be a family.

Speaking of family, we have finally discussed the expansion of our family and agreed and we are both open to it as long as we can refi and take care of some of our outstanding debt (some of which is left over from my first marriage.) It kills me because I have paid off my portion of the debt and am now working on �his� half. �Him� that told everyone we know (and plenty of people I don�t know) that he had to give me half of his big settlement. Crap! I would have been happy if he gave me enough to cover his portion of the debt but no, I got zip, nothing, nada. Lying bastard.

Let it go.

So if we can manage the refi we will try and see what happens.

Yes I know that means I will have another Baby to leave at my SILs but who knows what will happen by then. AND, babies sleep lot�s more than toddlers so I wouldn�t be missing much until he/she gets older.

My goodness time flies when you are typing away (I don�t type fast). I really should go and get some stuff done so that when it warms up (from 28 degrees to 38 degrees) I can concentrate on fixing my car.

See ya.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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