Last day of the year. The holidays washed over me. My folks were here till just after Christmas and then it was just my little family relaxing (one day of work in there for me). To be honest I am not sure the best way to catch up. Just checked and it has been more than two weeks since I last posted. This means I need to share both Christmas celebrations. The first one was uneventful other than a sense of unspoken discomfort. My SIL and I spoke a little and she and I share a similar concern for the safety of our MIL. Love is blind and strangers often say or do whatever benefits them most. Still, nothing to do but wait and hope there is never any fall out. I was a little disturbed, however, to land on the topic of fidelity during terminal illness scenarios (through political discussions not personal) with my father only to have him somewhat defend the politician in question claiming "it's a very rare man who can remain faithful while his spouse is dying". Really? It's too much to ask a man to honor his vows when there is no sex? Ew. Of course my Darling reminds me that my father left my mother at a large amusement part while they were on vacation. No communication (he refuses to carry a cell phone) so he had no idea where she was or what had happened to her, he just assumed she was "wandering around" with no concern for him so he went back to the hotel. She was waiting for him (albeit in the wrong place) and finally gave up herself and went back to the hotel to find him there. I was appalled, as was my Darling. My Darling would never leave me like that. Of course we have cells so we can communicate in a big crowded park but if we didn't my husband would have been talking to the staff trying to find me and make sure I wasn't on my way to a hospital. That is the thing that bugs me. My Mom is 78 which means she could fall, or have some condition that would demand a trip to the hospital and there is no way for anyone to contact my father and tell him. She could have been at the hospital, unconscious, and no one could have contacted him. He could have been lounging in front of the TV convinced she was being inconsiderate of him and just shopping (or as he put it "distracted on the way to the restroom or something") and instead she is in the hospital, dying. I can't wrap my brain around the denial it takes to justify the abandonment of ones spouse in such a fashion. I love my Dad but I can't accept the excuses.

As for presents, the kid was thrilled with his present. The morning before we were to have our early Christmas the kid and I were up early so we sat cuddling on the couch watching utube, toy garbage trucks are one of his favorite searches. We were watching one when he turns to me and says, "that's the one I want, may I have that one for Christmas please?" I smiled and told him he will have to wait and see. The truck he coveted was sitting, wrapped up, on the kitchen table waiting to go over to his Aunts house for opening. It made me very happy to know that one of his favorites was going to be his in a few short hours. He remembered too. When he opened his present (in front of Grandma, one of the few who actually opened their present in front of her) he turned to me and reminded me that we had just been watching it on the computer and he had asked for it then. I love delivering like that. It isn't often you can give something your kid really wants.

We try not to make the holiday about getting though. As a prep the kid and I went through and culled out some of the toys he has out grown or ones that he had a glut of and bagged them up to give away. This year we donated them to the doctors office. Our previous GP moved to her hometown and took the little bins of toys that were in each room to occupy the kids waiting to see the her. I am certain my son wasn't the only one sorry to see them go. We had enough small toys, blocks and books to replace the lost bins. He was pleased to give them and receive the thank-yous. He only inquired about the small block box once (when we pulled out the two larger containers) and I reminded him we had given them to the doctor for kids to play with when they are visiting her. He smiled and never said anything more about it. We also spent time selecting gifts for others from him. He was able to "wrap" them as well ("I can put the tape on Mommy, Daddy lets me put the tape on".)

My folks arrived in Thursday while I was still working. It was a long day but it was the last I would work for a week so I didn't mind it too much. There were still pies , cookies and goodies to make but Marme and Dad were both willing to help and my Darling is always there when I need him. Christmas was nice. The kid got a little overwhelmed and we had to stop his present opening so he could calm down a little. There weren't a ton of presents but more than we would have liked. We let it get a little out of hand because there were no Aunt and Uncle presents this year and only one from my Darlings parents. Our five present rule expanded to nine and I shunted an additional two presents to my folks to give. A lot for a 4 year old to assimilate. After watching my Darling, my parents and myself open our presents he was able to open and appreciate the rest of his presents.

Christmas dinner was another fail. Last year I overcooked the turkey (against my better judgment) this year we cut the turkey in half, smoked on half and roasted the other. Neither one was done at the appropriate time so we were quite late in eating. Everything tasted good but it was the kids bedtime by the time we finished eating. Sigh, maybe next year.

The folks left on Monday and our little family lazed around in comfy clothes (and pjs) for two days. I grocery shopped on Wed. and worked on Thursday but Friday we returned to sedentary bliss. Yesterday we finally headed out and picked up a nice stockpot and chicken fryer. We went with the Tfal liking the even heating of aluminum and the nonstick surface. Not completely sure about the stockpot (I hadn't considered nonstick, I was looking at stainless steel, aluminum bottomed pots) but it's through Corning and they are really good about letting you change your mind after you have tried their stuff out. Oh, and guess what? Pyrex brand has a line of pots and pans. Nonstick and with a really clever pot lid design that allows you to balance the lid on the side of the pot instead of setting it down (or up on end) on a counter top. No mare pricey than any other decent set but too much to buy on a whim. When we are in the market maybe.

Today I am making soup (turkey vegetable). Earlier in the week I made split pea with the leftover smoked turkey. For the record the taste is incredibly similar to ham hock pea soup but lower fat and calories. You can find smoked turkey wings or legs at the grocery store periodically if you want to give it a try. No change to the recipe, just the starter meat. Later we will head out to a New Year party for families (friends of my Darling, from his work).

Resolutions:

I'm keeping it short.

1. I will try and be nicer to people I work with. It's easy for me to get frustrated with my job and take it out on my co-workers. Even though their actions are part of my problem my attitude will not change their behavior and adds to the stress for everyone so I need to be nicer.

2. I will exercise at least three times a week. It is one of the most important things I can do for me and my wintery world. I have already signed up for my tanning membership, light (vitamin D) and exercise can keep away the blues. All of this falls under taking care of me so I have what it takes to take care of my family.

3. I will love my family. This one is easy, mostly. My Darling and I love each other very much but I would be lying if I said we were compatible in every way. The other day our son (4 remember) observed that we were not good together. When pushed for more information he clarified that he meant in the kitchen. My Darling and I don't always (ever) work well together on the first try. It's a challenge, but well worth the effort. I will love my Darling when I want to strangle him and I will love the kid when he is whining away in timeout.

Happy New Year to all of my friends around the world. Thank you for reading and thank you for your support.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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