I'm up pretty early this morning having somehow mistaken 6 for 6:30. I am showered & dressed with only my hair left to complete preparation for work today. I hate Sundays and I am not alone. All the girls are unhappy on Sunday, it is hard work and the Sunday church folks are particularly unforgiving to the lowly waitress working their butt off on the day of rest. Probably why they leave those lovely pamphlets explaining my afterlife punishment if I don't see the error of my evil ways ("by the I need more coffee"). I don't need to leave for nearly an hour so I thought I would lay down a word or two.

I have jumped into the waters at the networking site and so far no flurry of less that desirable folk trampling down my door. Could be I over estimated my importance in their world (alison who?). Still it's not really them that are the issue, it's the memories that keeping popping up. not so much specific events but feelings of inadequacies. I look at the accomplishments of others and judge myself poorly. I know lots of people do this and many will hate you for how they feel when they measure themselves by your yardstick. How anyone could be jealous of me has always escaped me. It's not that I haven't enjoyed an interesting life but it often lacked something. Now my life seems the most complete it has ever been.

I still have those Sundays and lets face it every day I work is irritating (cause I'm the first person to ever hate their job, right?) And it's not like anyone else is out of work and feeling like they will never get another job (of course as I approach fifty it seems less likely I will be attractive to employers next to all those youngsters who work cheap and offer far more potential years of service). I fear I will wait tables for the rest of my working life. There are the women at mt restaurant who have done that. They basically retired from their 9-5's to embrace part time work and more involved parenting. While I enjoy the time I get with my son I often feel inadequate at my job and especially so with my GM who seems to be a Murphy trigger for me. When he is around every thing that can go wrong does and I look terrible. I'm not the worlds best server but I'm at least competent when the other managers have shift. The good news today is that he will not be working and so I have a shot at a good day (not that Sunday is ever a good day but some suck less than others.

Wish me a day that doesn't suck.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

�