A runner runs.

I am aware of this and it's application to other activities. When I was obsessed with art I spent my every free hour doing something artistic (when I wasn't running that is). There was a time in my life when I explored all sorts of sides to myself and discovered talents that I have since left fallow (there is more than a little guilt associated with the loss of skills). I supposed I should resign myself to the idea that though I have some talent I am not an artist. An artist is driven to their art, relentlessly and completely.

So here I am, having explored the edges of my "gifts" and mostly discovered what I am not.

I am not a singer. Despite a impressive voice (so I am told), I do not feel obligated to sing whenever and where ever I can. The world is full of choral groups (a few of whom I have been a member at one time) and Karoke clubs packed with singers who live to sing.

I am not a dancer. While I have certain skills I am not built appropriately for the task. Still, there are classes similarly filled with folks who live to dance.

I am not an actor. I studied the craft and found that I can create a realistic "person" with little effort. I have also discovered that I don't seek it to "be in the spotlight" but to hide from my life. While few folks have the luck (and most of them are related to someone already in the field) to work in the industry, there are thousands upon thousands of community theatres in the country operating on the passions of people who live to act. I don't really care for community theatre performers most of whom have fragile egos or worse massive egos that just plain annoy me.

The jury is still out on the writing thing. Recently I allowed a situation to interfere with my writing and I am just now returning to the craft. I couldn't write but I wanted to, so I'm guessing that means I might be a writer.

I am a martial artist. I have continued to practice in one form or another since I started more than 20 years ago. I haven't pursued additional ranking but I have sampled and absorbed techniques from numerous style of the arts. I am currently exploring Tai Chi and antsy to get started teaching again. I don't care how good I am or what other people think, I do it for me. It is definitely a passion.

I suppose that is why I am not sure about the writing. I do it for me but I also care about what people think. I want to be read. I can honestly say that it doesn't matter to me if anyone sees, or appreciates any skills I have in Martial Arts which, makes that a defining feature of "me". But writing (for me) requires and audience and I still (shamefully) visit my stats regularly to see if anyone is reading. Bit of a fragile ego myself in that department, wouldn't you say?

I am a Mom. I live to care for my Baby Boy. He owns me.

I am a Wife. As never before I have wrapped my heart and soul around another. He doesn't complete me so much as he compliments me. No matter how bumpy the road is there is no one else with whom I would rather travel.

Oh, and the running thing. Yes, I run, but I will never be a runner because the cold and the rain will keep me from dragging myself out. I run for health and fitness but I have no passion for the act.

Passion is the defining feature in determining what you are, don't you think? You are what you are passionate about. The lucky souls make a living from their passions the rest of us work to provide time and space to practice our passion.

So there you have it. I am a Wife, Mother, Martial Artist and, possibly, a Writer.

The next question...

Is that enough to sustain me?

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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