Well the holiday went fine (our twisted definition of fine that is). Dad yelled at Marme and she yelled back, everybody was upset over what table and table cloth to use. I suggested everyone just relax and brother and I jumped in to help. Soon there was much smiling and laughing including idiot boy who was designated runner to the kitchen for forgotten items.

We were cramped up in the nieces room but were promised the downstairs room complete with daybed/trundle for the next visit in January. I am not optimistic that it will afford us more room because although Marme says she has/will clean and empty the room she thinks it�s almost ready and I think she has barely begun. Sigh, just more of our not seeing eye to eye on the cluttered/clean issue.

Speaking of cluttered and not clean my idiot brother was in rare form this week. He is always a strange ranger but this time he brought over one of his strange ranger friends. I know they have been friends for a little while because the man helped my folks with the refrigerator they brought to me a month ago. My mother wants to invite him and his wife (girlfriend?) to the anniversary dinner (odd). The couple has seven children between them, none of them shared, also none of them living with them. His children are with their mother, which is hardly unusual but hers are with their fathers (plural) which means on at least two different occasions she or the courts opted to have the children stay with the father which is very unusual. Additionally I over heard my niece (she was rather loud about it actually) ask to stay over at the couples house. Since they have no residential children and the niece didn�t say �my friend, one of the couples children� I was curious about the actual relationship. Idiot boy isn�t bright, thus the moniker, and has in the past exposed his children to unscrupulous types (one of his �girlfriends� taught my niece how to shoplift at five years old.) My niece also claims to have been molested by the woman. I�m not certain if that is a story (lie) though since both my idiot brother and she are well known for their lying, still it could be true, I wouldn�t put it passed the manipulative B****. Needless to say she didn�t like me much. I never kept my opinion on her parenting skills or over all character a secret. Although I only just met the new gentleman (used loosely) I am not impressed with this new friend.

I realized this weekend why my parents continue to support this freeloading waste of space known here as idiot boy. He is all they have. As I was traveling to my second Thanksgiving having stayed only three nights and two days at the folks and knowing that my parents would have preferred we stay another day and night heading home on Sunday morning instead of Saturday it occurred to me that they have no one but idiot boy. With my older brother settled in Florida, the younger in Virginia and me here in Michigan they are dependent on idiot boy to do the things they can not do for themselves. They are elderly although they are would not admit it anymore than I accept the reality of my age (having babies at my age, really!) They need help though and we are all flung hither and yon visiting only briefly a few times a year offering nothing but our company when we are there. Idiot boy is better than nothing and supporting him is the cost of his pitiful help. How I wish there had been work in their town so we could have been closer. I am here, however, and they are there so I think I will be less critical about their continued support of my brother. Who am I to judge since I am not there to help take care of them?

In retrospect I am appalled that it took me so long to understand. My older brother may never get it (he�s got a different moral compass than me and often misses the path I tread. He is getting closer to my road though so there is hope). I am not the daughter they hoped for and I feel bad that I can not be there to help. The least I can do is shut up about the enabling; it is a necessary survival tool for them.

Oh, and I must apologize to a good friend (who reads me and I hope will recognize this is to them) for spewing my �advice� uninvited. Who am I to judge or to suggest I have any personal knowledge into someone else�s situation. I can�t even run my own life how dare I presume to give advice to another. Please disregard my babbling and do what you feel is right. It is your life after all and only you know what is in your heart. Please forgive my arrogance.

I am off to run a few errands before I head into work tonight. It should be busy tonight what with all the stores around the place and the holiday racing up on us.

Toodles.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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