Day three of NaNo and I have yet to write a single word. I have given up, it seems, before even starting. It has been suggested (by more than one source) that I try and fictionalize my story. I suppose I could. Only my closest friends would recognize the story as mine. The inlaws and friends here in my new home town have no real idea of my past. Its as if I landed here with no real past other than the one I prefer to share. I�m just a normal person with a few bad events in my past (failed marriage for ex.). Normal on the outside but on the inside seething with inappropriate emotions even when properly medicated. The pills don�t make the disease go away it just takes the edge of if you will.

Of course there isn�t a lot of time what with the unpacking and reorganizing and repair of my new home. Every day seems filled with activity and in the end I still feel as though I haven�t accomplished as much as I should have. Even these little writing breaks make me feel guilty for the loss of time that could be spent doing something. (I placate myself by feeding Baby Boy and typing one handed but even that makes me feel bad since I should be focusing on him, right? Bonding, right? He does seem more interested in the ceiling fan than me at the moment so it�s OK, right?

Today I�m off to the hardware store to buy copper fittings so that we can install the water softener. I am going to teach my Darling how to sweat pipe (which is lots easier than most folks think. The secret is clean copper and proper flux application (where ever there is flux there will be solder.) The more you do it the prettier it gets but most people can do an adequate job the first time out if they follow those rules. I like plumbing, really I do, but I wish I could sit down and spend a few hours writing instead. Trouble is, I�m not earning any real money right now and I need to do my part in this partnership so I�m stuck. I contribute by doing things around the house. Sweat equity they call it.

I have to go. I have to give Baby Boy a bath before we go (not to mention take a shower myself and the day is already well on it�s way). I should have stayed up this morning at 5 after I fed Baby Boy. I could have written then. Shoot, who needs sleep anyway?

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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