Day two of NaNoWriMo and I have yet to put one word on paper (so to speak). I have spent a little while in the car writing in my head but then when I get home there is something else more important to do. Feed the baby, fix the washer hook-ups, and today the water softener must go in (what do I know about water softeners, I�m city folk, don�tcha know.) But like everything else I have done, I will learn as I go. The plumbing part isn�t so bad but I�m just not certain about the set up. I have seen what is not right (house number one, the sale that never happened) but I have no idea what is correct. My Darling has lived with well water and softeners but he is working the whole weekend (mind you only till noon but since he will be up at OMG o�clock in the morning he will not be motivated to launch into a huge project when he gets home. He has good intentions but his body has its own mind).

I wasted yesterday away. OK I put the dishes away and moved things around to accommodate the entry of our new couch and loveseat (to be delivered between the hours of 8 am and 11 am). This forced me to move Baby Boys doctor�s appointment (hastily scheduled in the first place to get in before my health insurance discontinues) to the afternoon. The new time left me concerned about making it to work on time knowing full well the time it takes to see the physician so I arranged for My Darling to meet me at the office and potentially complete the visit while I headed off to work. Turns out I was right to be concerned. I was able to stay for Dr. P�s visit and to receive a flu vaccination (Mom and Dad have to because Baby Boy is too little) but had to leave before the two month shots (I am so happy to have missed that, My Darling says it was horrible as he had to hold Baby Boys arms while two nurses attacked him from both sides with several needles to his tiny little thighs). He was still tender when I arrived home four hours later and ended up sleeping with us (me) until his night feeding. I don�t usually bring him to bed at night (although sometimes we nap together after his morning feeding) but last night he obviously needed particular comforting and nothing is more comforting than snuggling up to Mommy. When he woke up this morning (in his own bed) I thought he was looking to be fed but instead he simply wanted to visit and then dropped off to sleep beside me and is now, even as we speak, bundled up beside me sleeping.

Have I mentioned the furnace problem? For some inexplicable reason the furnace will fail to ignite in the dead of night causing the blower to blow cold air indefinitely until the unit is manually shut off and restarted. Then it may or may not ignite. My personal opinion is that the electronic igniter isn�t hot enough on its own to light the fire. The unit seldom fails to light during the day (although we don�t use it much in the daytime since it is still rather warm here getting up into the high sixties). The warmer it is in the furnace room the more likely the unit will ignite, thus the reason it fails during the dead of night when it is the coldest. In fact this morning I ran a load of clothes (my Darling�s, I am quite the house frau) just to get the hot water tank going to warm the room and voila, the furnace lit. It has cycled several times since then and has ignited every time.

Does anyone know how to change out an electronic igniter?

Today I had hoped to go shopping for organizers so I can get more of our stuff out of boxes. We have to share the one and only full bath (feel sorry for me ladies, men are by nature bathroom pigs.) My Darling is a neat freak but in the bathroom he somehow fails to see all the tiny hairs that surround the sink after he shaves or the scum that coats the tub after his shower. I will have my work cut out for me keeping the room clean. Also, there is only one small cabinet for us both to share with tiny little drawers (two) useless for more than toothbrush (for both of us) and shaving stuff (for him). Thus the organizers I need to coral all the girly crap I barely use but can�t live without. I never wear make-up except on truly special occasions (like my wedding day or when sitting for a picture) and I am more apt to gather my hair up into a ponytail than fuss with curling iron or hot rollers to effect any �hairstyle�. Still I own make-up, curling irons (yes, plural, multiple sizes to create a varied array of curls) and hot rollers that must be stashed for the rare occasion when I wish to be girly. Thank heaven my Darling likes the �natural� look. I know he likes it when I wear make-up but he is just as happy with my every day look. I, personally, can�t stand my face but I have grown accustomed to seeing it as it is and so I can ignore it until the camera reminds me of my short comings. (Can any one say passport photo?) The kitchen requires a few adaptations as well as repairs (I broke one of the drawers while cleaning and I need it to store the frying pans). Unfortunately my in-laws are coming (the in-laws are coming, the in-laws are coming) to reinstall the stove hood they installed rather haphazardly (with the help of my Father who will make it fit somehow rather than stop and get the parts to do it right) during our moving weekend. My Darlings frustration with his parents disturbed my parents (�How could he treat his parents that way� quoth my Dad) who are unaware of my in-laws penchant for negative commentary on My Darlings �doing it wrong� while doing things wrong themselves. It can get nerve wracking after a while.

So yesterday I was trapped waiting for the furniture delivery, the day before I waited for the phone/internet guy and today I will wait for my in-laws (just call me the lady in waiting). Of course I could be spending all this waiting time writing the Great American Novel but instead I am here, sharing my frustrations. Can you say avoidance? I don�t know why it is so easy to write here and so much harder to write my novel. Well that isn�t true; I know why I am avoiding. I have no idea for a fictional story and I am afraid of delving into my past. I want to tell my story but there are so many people (including my Darling�s family) who know nothing of my past travails and current �condition� that is somewhat normalized with medication. What would they think of me if they knew the truth? Hell, I won�t apply for medical insurance through the restaurant because the application I must turn into my general manager requests information on mental health treatment and the condition treated. I don�t want her to know the truth (she can�t handle the truth!) Of course I am not sure that she would think of me or treat me any different but who want�s to take that chance? So while I would like to write my story the fear stops me in my tracks. �Why not write it and then keep it to yourself?� you ask. Well, what if it�s good? What if it is something that could allow me to stop trucking my butt around a restaurant and allow me instead to stay home and still bring in some money? I don�t need to be the next JK R0wling but making as much as I My Darling would be nice. I would like to kick in more monetarily instead of being forced to contribute through physical labor about the home (there it is, that house frau thing). I like taking care of the house and my Baby Boy but I find it hard to rationalize doing that while My Darling takes himself off to work all the time. I mean here I sit, while the washer runs and Baby Boy sleeps using the time to write rather than unpack. I should do more if I am going to take advantage of My Darlings hard work right?

Up before the sun and I have done nothing yet (well nothing except run a load of laundry, get the furnace going again and try and feed Baby Boy.) I have boxes to empty and walls to finish painting. No more procrastination (I�m talking about the housework, not the writing, I�m still going to procrastinate on the writing) I have to get something done before the in-laws show up.

I let you know how THAT goes.

Take care!

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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