Today my chore is to write instructions for my job. With baby�s arrival becoming more imminent daily my work is beginning to express interest in having other folks around her trained on my job. There are those who have covered me before (sick days and of course before I arrived) but they have their own jobs to do so they are looking to split my job up so as not to overwhelm any one person. I would like to work as close the birthday as possible just so I don�t have to go on disability for very long. My darling would like me to take off on disability before the baby comes (two weeks before my due date if he had his way) but I�m not sure I want to take the loss in pay as we try and get the house up and livable. We are going to be paying more than we would have liked as it is and I don�t want money to become and issue. I am also uncertain of my longevity at this company. I think they appreciate me and what I do but the president of the company keeps going on and on about how I�m underestimating motherhood and I�m not going to come back and he needs to plan for that eventuality. I smell my replacement in the winds. It�s hard to believe in this day and age there is a throw back who doesn�t understand the reality of the necessary two income family. It must have been nice for him to have his wife make his family her full time job but most folks don�t have that luxury and as housing prices climb that reality becomes more and more an impossible dream. My biggest fear as I train people to �cover� me is that I will find myself cut loose at a time in my life when I most need the job (the medical insurance that will cover my family is provided through my employer not My Darling�s.).

Every day I get more tired of coming into work. I�m not able to sit comfortably and it is difficult to stand and work on the computer. I can handle phone calls standing (especially the instructional kind since I do most of that from memory now) but this place is a little freaky about someone not filling every moment with work. This (writing) is at least viewed as work since no one is aware of what I write. My own moral compass allows me to write rather than work because I take no other breaks (other than lunch). I literally can�t wait until I can do my job from the comfort of my couch, or even my bed if necessary. Comfy clothes and the freedom to wander about the house as I troubleshoot and assist customers will make this easier I am sure.

This weekend I am off to the In-laws for the weekend. While they live literally in the middle of nowhere I am actually looking forward to the break. It will be really nice to get away from my house, packed to the gills with boxes I have nowhere to move and chores I really don�t want to do but have no ability to sit next to and leave undone. At the in-laws I will be able to, even encouraged to, lounge about and do nothing. Maybe I will even get to the point of actually feeling rested. Now a days I wake tired and carry that feeling all day long. When I arrive home my overworked Darling and I stare hollow eyed at the TV and hope the other will start supper so that we can drift semi conscious until the food is done and then doze off shortly after filling our bellies. How our lives have compressed, mine from my baby growing efforts and his from the terrible hours his job has forced on him.

I don�t envy him the twelve hour (4:30 am to 4:30 pm) shifts he has been on. His work has a 45 minute commute as well and so upwards of 14 hours (depending on traffic) is spent on his job leaving a little time for anything else. The good news is the company has hired additional personal which will at least cut down on the OT if not the length of days (he works at least one day every weekend except this up coming weekend which he specifically requested off so he could take the trip up to his folks.) I suspect he will be napping nearly as much as I will. This weekend we will let his parent take care of us.

Tomorrow will be a short day at work for me and a day off for him. We should arrive at his folks by dinner. I don�t know if I will be able to post while I am there (they have a computer but it will depend more on how I feel then access. Still I rarely let a day go by where I don�t check my e-mail (even though I really don�t get that many).

If I don�t find time to post tomorrow, have a wonderful weekend, I will be doing my best to do the same.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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