The weekend was a mixed bag emotionally speaking. The stress of the many ongoing issues in our lives is taking a toll on our relationship. Frankly we barked at each other for much of the weekend. My Saturday morning was a nice collection of shopping, visiting with my friends at the restaurant for lunch and working on the bridesmaid dress.

When My Darling arrived home in the afternoon I was quite pleased with my day. He, however, brought storm clouds into my lovely weekend. His truck remains unfinished and at the price he is paying to fix it I would think they would give it a little more priority. The parts were in on Wednesday last week and the car was set for repair on Thursday. When he called Thursday afternoon they hadn�t gotten to it. Then Friday morning he called to find that somehow there were four cars ahead of his. No I�m inclined to agree with him, unless these cars arrived for repair more than a week ago they shouldn�t be �ahead� of him. Come to find out the dealership repair facility is closed on Saturdays (how ridiculous is that?) so he is now almost two weeks in waiting for this repair (thank goodness he was able to borrow a car from his sister but still it�s too long to wait.)

Add to that the interminable wait for the closing of our house (an event which seems almost unreachable at this time) and there are dark clouds everywhere.

I am easily affected by the moods around me. I�m not sure if this is more so because of my disease or not. I realize that I shouldn�t let someone elses mood affect me but in the case of my daring he does seem to take these things out on me. When he is upset like this all he can focus on are all the little things I do that piss him off. Obviously we all have habits and behaviors that piss off our mates. I have a plethora of �complaints� I keep to myself because I recognize that the issue is mine, not his. He is younger than I and has never been married so he doesn�t even know he is doing it until I point it out. Then he is apologetic and tries not to take it out on me. The trouble is his mood still sits next to me and I am consumed by it.

We got around it Sunday by basically staying away from each other. He napped and cleaned out the Garage and I deep cleaned the kitchen and bath and packed away more stuff. By the time we got together to go shopping and pick up movie we were better. I wish I were better at detaching myself from another�s mood.

The house thing has simply gotten so far out of control I just don�t know what to do with myself. We are in so deep that to climb out would involve all sorts of changes, new apartment, more house hunting and in the end a Manufactured is all we can afford and so there is no guarantee that the exact same turn of events might ensue six months from now. I�m just sick to death of it.

This makes me stressed, which in turn affects my appetite (I have none) and my sleep (not doing a lot of that) which in turn makes me cranky. This makes me less receptive to work crap (we all have our share of work crap we must deal with) and that just makes the day go slow and tedious. I don�t want to rush home because my Darlings as cranky as I am.

What does one take to reduce crankiness?

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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