Last night after dinner my Darling suggested (well more like demanded) that we take a walk (in the rain no less). His thinking was that if I was having trouble sleeping then a nice walk after dinner should have the same effect as a nice walk Sunday morning, which is putting me right to sleep. He was correct. Unfortunately I woke up an hour or so later. I was lucky enough to drop back to sleep shortly after waking so I proclaim the solution a success. I slept mostly through the night except for my middle of the night awakening which coincides with my Darlings heading off to work. Baby Boy has also chosen that time of night to wake and roll around a bit before heading back off to sleep himself. Sleep notwithstanding I�m still feeling pretty punkish. I hate feeling like I�m complaining all the time, after all this is supposed to be a special time in my life. I am making a baby. This incredible event is taking place inside me and all I can focus on is my back hurts, I�m tired and everything that can go wrong has gone wrong in the purchase of our home.

Yet another roadblock has been thrown up (involving the ownership of the road). Seems that it was a private road then it became a county road but since nobody (meaning the county) bothered to get a permit there is no legal record of the road becoming a public road and no record of it as an easement thus no clear title, no clear title means no sale. They all think we are currently living in a motel (I feel a little guilty about that but it does mean that they are all working extra hard to get us into our house.) The insanity of it all is just overwhelming. I don�t know if this is a sign of things to come (my house as albatross) or a hard time in the beginning and a free ride after that. The financier is suggesting we go conventional (which adds .75% to our interest rates and who knows what other problems will accompany that mortgage) but the woman at the title company is asking us to wait one more day as she is convinced that she will be able to clear up the grey areas by tomorrow and possible close us by Friday.

I am so done with this all right now. I just don�t want to deal with it anymore. I don�t want this house (I do but I�m afraid of it) and I don�t want to look for another house. The woman at the title company says if we clear things up there will be no problem when we sell the home down the line. It�s all just a little too much for me. I want to stop the world for a moment (stop the world I want to get off!!). I am not looking forward to talking to My Darling about this. I know that everyone calls me because they think I am good at handling things and I suppose I am since I do manage to stay calm and detached when I am dealing with people. My Darling gets noticeably upset and folks don�t like to deal with upset people so they call me.

My stomach hurts too, normal, all normal but that doesn�t help me deal with it all.

After my lunchtime chat with My Darling we have decided not to make any changes at this time but instead give our title company a chance to follow through. I just don�t want to start all over again. It feels like we might be there, at the finish line, and the secret is not to panic but just to push through.

If it�s not raining too hard we will walk again after dinner which will hopefully drive me off to sleep again tonight. It may have the added result of making me feel less like a walking tub of you know what.

Fingers crossed for the house please everyone.

Thanks,

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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