A while ago I performed the steps (so I thought) to remove my site from g00gle searches. It seems, however, that the steps were incomplete (or incorrect) because I find my stats populated with g00gle image searches for my Ying/yang gif to the left. It is a popular search at the moment (from many foreign lands which I suppose is a compliment). If you are here to see the gif please know that I did create it and I am quite proud of it as well as the banner above. I am not a graphic designer so this is just play art but it is nice to be appreciated.

I feel quite strongly about the ying/yang symbol. It is a representation of the extremes and the middle path. Dissecting the symbol in it�s simplest terms it is light opposite dark, mirror images, each containing a little of the other. The path of the enlightened runs the middle between light and dark.

The middle path,

Moderation,

Interesting concepts from one on the roller coaster wouldn�t you say?

I have been riding the emotional train for so long it�s hard to think that I could ever walk the middle path. Once, long ago, I felt inside myself, in touch with alive and not attached to it. I remember that feeling but I am unable to find it again. After all I have endured you would think it would be easier now that I�m not fighting all those demons but somehow, even with clarity I lack true clarity.

I know what the trouble is. It�s hot! Damn, it�s hot. I forgot the humidity (surrounded by lakes and it�s humid who would have thought?). Even the rain can�t lessen the feeling of water hanging in the air. Ack!

On a completely different subject, I made blooberry meringue pie. I thought it would make a nice treat after the sun goes down and it cools off. The blooberries are in season and I am working on eating fruit in preparation for the possibility of, well, you know.

Speaking of weight (I know we weren�t but I�m on a flight of thoughts right now bear with me) I have lost the 8 lbs targeted in the weigh down between me, Brian and Sport (Yay for me!). Not that the competition was as important as simply continuing to try and physically change my habits and improve my over all health in case I, well, you know. If I don�t, you know, then I will at least live healthy longer.

Speaking of �you know� (and I was you see) I met a nice young man at the restaurant who�s mother is over sixty. Seems she had him after she was forty. I asked (casually of course) how he felt growing up with a mother so much older than everyone else�s mom (Oh, like you would have resisted) and guess what? He said she was cooler than the other moms cause she knew a lot and she was (and still is) very young and active. Sound like someone we all know and love (ok you may not know me but you have to love me). We have moved from not doing anything to stop it to trying a few of the �tricks�. I still feel a little guilty from time to time about not waiting until I have better health insurance but by then it might be impossible. I also worry about My Darling and me. Through no real fault of his own I have been having fearful dreams lately. In one I turned around and caught him (standing next to my ex�s mother) holding hands with some young women (who was somehow a friend of mine although I didn�t recognize her). I�m guessing it is my unspoken fear that history will repeat itself. I know My Darling isn�t my ex and he only has eyes for me but I can�t rid myself of that scar anymore than I can the one on my wrist which has resurfaced in all its ugly glory. To be fair it isn�t quite as bad as the one that was removed but it is still pretty bad and painful. I wouldn�t mind the looks but it still hurts, especially if it gets banged a little.

Oh my but I�ve rambled on. Chances are my visitors from distant lands (other than you my dear Anna) have probably long since left for greener and less wordy pastures but words are what I do so I appreciate your indulgence.

Think I�m going to earn my Blooberry pie with a nice Karate workout. After all it�s hot so you get twice the sweat for the effort.

Toodles (I love that word).

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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