Well the verdict is in, the axe has fallen and my darling Beau has joined the ranks of the unemployed. I am experiencing severe d�j� vu here.

I wake and go about my morning routine all the while he slumbers. I kiss him goodbye and he grunts at me. I will hear from him around eleven or twelve when he finally wakes. It is all too familiar and it is frightening. Amidst the incredible similarities there are some differences. He updated and posted his own resume (not looking to me to do it for him), he has already applied for a few positions and has calculated how much an hour he requires to meet his expenses, and he is prepared to scrimp to make his money last as long as possible. Also, he is realistic that it may take time before he finds a new position so he may elude the depression that often accompanies a job search if your expectations for employment are set too high. Still, I have that same taste in my mouth, and it is bitter.

He takes some responsibility for his actions but still believes the rules changed without much notice and when the powers that be could not implement the changes effectively with the crew the took a hard line and put the fear of God in them. My Beau may be correct, the place was bought out and there were many changes made tightening down on things, still it smacks of �it�s not my fault�.

My young niece ran away from my parents, who have the task of raising them due to the supreme incompetence (and sheer laziness) of my idiot brother, and my mother calls me from 2000 miles away to ask what she should do. I told her that the child will come home when she gets hungry. I am concerned though. I think she is also bipolar. I see the signs and symptoms and I know that she could get help but I also know that my dad and idiot boy will balk at the suggestion and insist she is just willful and in need of stern discipline. I could be wrong too, and handing her ammunition to excuse her bad behavior.

I told her she was still responsible for her actions but she needed to go and take to the doctor and see if he can help her. It isn�t like the therapist who just talks to you and leave you still feeling out of control of your emotions, overwhelmed by them. Bipolar runs in families, which suggests it is inherited, so it is not inconceivable that my young niece suffers from the same disease I have struggled with all of my life. I don�t want it to be as hard for her as it was for me. She doesn�t have the advantage of a mother and father. She is being raised by her grandparents and has an uncle daddy and a mother in prison for abuse and neglect of her other five children. She has my nephew, whom she is very close to, but he has troubles of his own. I am afraid one day she will rage enough to actually hurt my parents. The trouble with this disease is when you are in the throws of the emotional overload your judgment is really poor and you can do things that you deeply regret later on. My mother is of the old generation of �spare the rod spoil the child� so she is more physical with children than most parents are now-a-days. Couple that with a bipolar child and you have the makings of a disaster (with me 2000 miles away unable to affect any assistance or protection for my loved ones.

This is not something I would like to handle along with my own troubles (my parents are unaware of my Beaus change in employment status.) I don�t want to worry them (even that is d�j� vu).

The packing has taken a critical turn, I have been informed by management that the site has been rented as of the first and I must be out. Tomorrow I will take a half day from work and attempt to move the thing. I want to make sure if I need to do anything to get it from the site to the back storage I have time to do so. The upside of my Darlings unemployment is that he will be able to assist me. I am not looking forward to maneuvering my 32 foot RV out of the spot. I recall it wasn�t the easiest spot to get into and I am not certain it will be any different getting out. Paper work at the DMV can wait for after the first since I shouldn�t need to drive on the public roads to move it to storage.

Did I mention I have too much stuff? I am also rethinking the whole �Garage sale� idea. I�m not sure I want to sacrifice a whole Saturday to the possibility of making some money. I have not been lucky in the whole garage sale thing. I am referring to the �Huge Porch Giveaway� of 1987, where I spent an entire day out in the heat to earn $5.35 and ended the day giving it all away because I didn�t want to carry it all back upstairs. Still, the dumpsters are right near the storage area I wouldn�t need to go far at the end of the day to dispose of it all.

Tonight, I will stop by after my doctor�s appointment and take the first of many trips to the dumpsters, years of crap collected and stored for future use. I am just now learning to be a member of the disposable generation.

Throw it away!

PS. He was up at 8:15, before I was halfway through this missive. Smile with me.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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