Sleeping last night was a challenge and so in the middle of the night (about the time My Darling normally rises for work) I was wide awake. after an hour of staring at the ceiling and tossing about a bit I gave up and read a couple of chapters in my new book "Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen" by Shunryu Suzuki. I have his collection of talks "Zen Mind, Beginners Mind" so I wanted the newest collection of his talks assembled after his death. I also purchased his biography "Crooked Cucumber: The Life and Zen Teaching of Shunryu Suzuki". I love biographies and have read quite a few. I am not saying I have ready hundreds or anything, a dozen or so, but I have thoroughly enjoyed them. I prefer autobiographies but in their absence I settle for another author's perspective on someone's life and times.

I could use a little Zazen I think, stilling of the mind, what a challenge for me. My mind wakes me up at night and holds me captive from sleep. I am told sleep is very important to my mental health and it still eludes me from time to time. at least the past couple of days I have slept, and slept hard, despite my desire to get up with My Darling and keep him company on his way to work. The 45 min drive must be long when he is all alone. I miss our private time together. When he arrives home we are a family and by the time Baby Boy is off to bed we are soon to follow leaving little time for grown up things.

I feel run down. I need to rest, but not the sit down take a nap kind of rest but the meditate still my mind kind. I need to get exercising too, my body feels sluggish and I need to light a spark inside.

Next week promises dreary weather I am so sorry for Anna who may feel a bit at home (I hear it can get dreary in her homeland) but I had hoped she would get to see my garden beneath the spring sunshine. You never know though, weather prediction still seems pretty sketchty so we could have a beautiful day in there somewhere.

I need to sit still for a while, then run. That combination is the key to my mental health.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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