I just checked my last post, 12 days ago. Oh how my life has changed in just twelve days.

As best I can remember�

The weekend before Labor Day was fairly dull. I didn�t do much on Saturday as My Darling was working. I did go over to the restaurant for breakfast sharing my prediction of a late appearance by my Baby Boy since the doctor seemed pretty sure I wasn�t giving birth soon. I was neither dilated nor effaced (his 1 cm was just to be nice and tell me something was happening.)

Sunday after breakfast I got up and started putting together the pack-n-play. With my due date approaching I thought it was about time we set up some kind of nursery. The house wasn�t happening before the baby arrived and even if I was late it still had to get done. We spent the day putting things together, digging through boxes and otherwise getting ready.

Monday we finished off the nursery and I decided the nursery was as good a place as any to be a backdrop for my �look how big I am now picture� that has been requested by friends far and wide. Here I am in all my pregnant glory.

It was nice to have the extra day off (MY Darling doesn�t often get two days in a row working as much overtime as he does. We headed off to bed at the reasonable hour of 9pm.

Shortly after midnight Sept 4th I woke up with gas pains, took some Rolaids and tried to get back to sleep. After suffering for a couple of hours I noticed that the �gas pains� were coming at a regular interval and it occurred to me I might be in labor. (Yes folks I�m brilliant sometimes). I started timing the pain around 2:45 and went from 13 min apart to 8 minutes apart in an hour. By the time My Darling was up and ready for work (around 5 am) I decided that he shouldn�t go to work and that we would head off to the hospital instead. I sent off an e-mail to my work letting them know I wouldn�t be �in� to work and we headed to the hospital (conveniently around the corner). When we arrived the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and it looked like I was going to progress pretty quickly. When they checked me I was 2cm. I had decided to attempt the birth using the medications available without an epidermal. The first dose eased up the pain to a very manageable level and they suggested I sit in the Jacuzzi tub (mmmm Jacuzzi, and they let me make it hot) after an hour I had enough and wanted to head on back to the bed to get checked, surely I would have dilated a bit. The doctor came in and checked, still 2 cm. She did decide to break my water revealing the baby had fouled the fluid and that meant we weren�t going to be a long time at this. The pain was increasing as was the frequency of the contractions. After the second dose of medication there was little change to the pain level and I must say the increase was fast and furious.

I found myself standing next to the bed bent over with My Darling standing behind me supporting me during the times when my legs refused to support me. The contractions were now 1 � minutes apart and lasting more than a minute. I wasn�t expecting the pain to be that bad (especially with the drugs.) When I couldn�t stand it (or stand) any longer I called (cried) for an epidural. It took another twenty minutes to get the Doctor to put in the epidural and as the nurse coached me in breathing (should have taken that birthing class, damn) I rode the waves of pain that washed over me. When the epidural finally took hold the pain blissfully abated and I was left feeling exhausted and when they checked, stalled at 2 cm. Next came the pitosis (sp?). The epidural slows the contractions so they needed to get them back to where they were before the epidural. Five hours later they checked again, 2 � cm, not exactly progress. As they increased the Pitosis they noticed my Baby Boy was dipping his heartbeat during contractions so they decided to monitor the contractions and baby�s heartbeat from within the womb. The contraction monitor was installed without incident but the monitor for the baby�s heartbeat wouldn�t attach (to baby�s head). Three attempts were made before they gave up and decided to rely on the external monitor for baby and internal for contractions and upped the pitosis. Cervix check, 3 cm. Three hours later the nurse came in to check me again. By now I was feeling the contractions again, through the epidural (not really bad but there). Still no change, 3 cm, and that�s when they started talking c-section. I was very upset. I didn�t want a c-section, I�m afraid of general anesthetic, I was sure I wouldn�t get to see my baby, I would go to sleep and never wake up. (in my defense I had bee in labor for more than twenty hours and was completely spent).

I watched as they brought in scrubs for my Darling and people hustled around getting me ready to head into surgery. The Doctor arrived and explained that I wouldn�t have to have a general, they would use the epidural and it was the best option for the baby who (if you recall) wasn�t in the best environment. My Baby Boy was (and is) the most important thing to me so I pulled it together and braced myself for surgery.

I have low blood pressure (always have) the epidural lowers it and then the additional drugs given for surgery lower it even more. By the time I headed to the surgical suite I was 81/36 so I was given extra fluids and epinephrine. This left me shaking uncontrollably. My Darling was there with me the whole. I could look into his eyes and focus on the tiny life I was about to meet. Then with out notice I could see him off to my left, brief glimpses between the movements of the group of nurses cleaning him up and checking him out. The I heard him and the world disappeared, I was lost in that little cry, I cried, tears of sheer joy at the safe arrival of my Baby Boy, my Darling Baby Boy. They brought him close to me so I could see him and know he was OK before they whisked him off for all the post birth activities (weight, height etc.) while I remained to be stitched up. The worst of the shaking was over by the time I was wheeled back to my room. There I saw My Darling cradling my Baby Boy (he looked so very tiny in My Darlings arms) and I was offered a bottle and handed this tiny little squirming red faced beautiful baby, the most beautiful baby in the world. When I gave him the nipple he was not sure what to do with it, he started by licking it and eventually managed to suck a little. Soon he was eating with gusto.

Baby boy meets Mommy:

Every thing that came before got lost in those baby blue eyes.

I have walked though hell and found my way to heaven. I still stare at him whenever I can. I hold him in my arms and all I can think is how lucky I am to be his Mommy.

I love My Darling and My Baby Boy, my little family.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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