2014-07-17 - 5:31 a.m.

Good Morning,

Yes it is early and I am awake. My Darling is already off to work and my mind is already whirling with things I have to do. Plumbing, drywall tile and such. Also I checked my work schedule to see if the new store showed up on it and it does not so for now I am officially off for a week. Here's hoping she squeezed me in for a few hours next week. I am also hoping she can squeeze me into her schedule ongoing. After all, she has people, just like I am people at my store. I imagine they get just as upset when someone comes in a screws up the schedule, taking hours away from them.

I must admit I am nervous. As someone who traveled around and moved from job to job with relative ease I you would think I would be just fine with this but I must remind you that I was a different person then. Un-medicated and thus wildly confident in my abilities and comfortable in the knowledge that every job I rook was temporary. I never stayed too long, never long enough to develop real relationships. I have worked at this place almost as long as I worked at the plant which seems quite sad to me. It isn't that waiting isn't a reasonable profession it is just it wass never the one I pictured for myself. Of course you might say, but Alison, few people get to do what they dreamed of growing up, otherwise the world would be filled with firemen, garbage men, nurses and princesses (with the odd dash of paleontologist and astrophysicist, love you Neil). But still, the twists and turns of my life still amaze me and I wonder if I will ever get to do something interesting as well as challenging. Waiting tables is hard but it isn't interesting, it is drudgery, plain and simple. I make the best of it, smile and laugh and try and enjoy myself, lemons out of lemonade and ll but damn, some days it is harder than others.

On the home front there is so very much to do that I much break it down in my mind. I haven't done plumbing from scratch. Well that isn't true, I installed a water softener and filter into our system and that involved some planning. Technically, this plumbing should be challenging and interesting which is what I was pining for just a few sentences ago but it is unpaid and in addition to the slaving about at the restaurant. I must break it down into smaller chunks, pieces that I can manage day to day. A list, that is what I need. Aren't lists the best? It feels like you are doing something but really you are just putting off the inevitable. OK, technically the list helps to keep you on track and remembering but mostly it means you can put off the actual doing for a little bit more.

So I suppose I should make use of this little window of time this morning that I never expected to have and make my list. Or I could watch Jon Stew@rt. Yeah, you know what I'm going to do. But I promise, tonight I will make a list for this weekend.

I wish you Peace


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