I stop by, read and run. Every day, read and run. I don't want to dig into all that is sitting below the surface. Bad news on the job front, I will never know exactly why, one never does, all I know is the bloom is off the rose and I am left waiting, literally. Work is as difficult as ever, with the added fun of dropping things, dishes, trays of food and such. Misery. I keep applying to jobs, hoping but with the kid in need of pickup regular jobs are not an option unless they pay well enough for childcare. I can work more hours for the same pay at some job that might be better for my mood but I can't afford the childcare. I can switch to another restaurant but I would lose my shift preferences. Right now I don't work weekends, at all, and that is rare in this industry. In fact one can not get hired at a restaurant if one says they are not available on weekends. So when I go it must be out of the business if I want to have weekends with my family. I am so willing to work during the week, long hours if I have to in order to get the kid back and forth for school, but I want my weekend with my family. If I could afford to I would work any job, I am not too proud to clean toilets but I can't afford to work for nothing. I'm sure it is the same for most Americans, it isn't the job that is unattractive, it is the pay and lack of benefits.

It doesn't help matters that it is snowing/freezing raining out. Winter is sniffing around waiting in the wings and I am not at all happy about it. I know the dreading is probably worse than the actuality but I am not all together positive about that. I already feel bad and it is only just about November.

My hands are cold, typing does that. Maybe why I avoid writing? Yeah, what was the excuse this summer then? November is NaNoWriMo, didn't even attempt last year, probably won't this year. Why was it so very easy the year I finished? Still that story sits mostly unedited and read by very few. It's not as though I don't have a really good story to tell but like everything else in my life I don't know where to start or how to make the transition from here to there.

Going to go warm my hands on some coffee. Stay warm, safe and dry through the storms.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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