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2012-04-18 - 9:30 p.m.

tick tock, time keeps on spinning into the future. Last week was a stay at home Mom week. Not truly because I worked my night shifts but with my Daycare lady on vacation I had to take the days off. I decided I was going to get the bathroom done. It was crap when we moved in and we never got it past priming. Then the mold set in, and grew. Every day I would look at the mold and think, Man we need to do something about this, but then another day would go by and there was no time. Well I had time last week and I made up my mind I was going to do it. After a week of scrubbing the walls and ceiling with bleach cleaner, all traces of the mold was gone (We hope). Then after contemplating the wall, I had a decision to make. When we moved in the previous owners had attempted to cover a failed attempt at installing a door from the bedroom directly to the bathroom (evidently the short walk into the hallway for two steps was too long). The repair was bad. The existing drywall was 1/2 in and the repair was 5/8 in. The result was just what you might picture the mismatch. I did what I could to minimize the discrepancy but it had bothered me for the whole time we have been here. So I decided before we did anything more that botched wall had to go. I replaced the entire wall with new greenboard and mudded, sanded, mudded again and when I though it looked good primed the wall and set about painting. Four days invested into the room (not including the cleaning) and I turn and see, to my shock and horror, the mud on my wall is terrible. The flaws are many and major. Crap, I was, and am, very disappointed, after all that work it just looks bad, worse in fact than the first makeshift repair I performed when we moved in. So, Monday I remudded and I am hoping to minimize the flaws and repaint this weekend.

That was my week, my whole week.

Tuesdays have been hard work. Waiting is one thing, designing and running a theme based child orientated night is challanging. The kids are sweet and there are regulars every week and a new face here and there. But between the finding the project, garnering supplies, running the show and taking ownership of the entire process I am not really "enjoying" it. It's not called work for nothing so I didn't really expect to enjoy it. I don't really like serving but I hide it well enough for the customers that they think I do. "It's so nice to see someone who loves what they do" I have heard which just means I am good at hiding. I am very good at hiding.

There is other stuff happening and I am conflicted about it. I know what I would like and I know what is and I think that I am destined to be disappointed no matter what happens so I am left trying to decide between no win situations. Oh and as if it isn't difficult enough there is a whiff of a job in the wind, wouldn't that just complicate everything that much more.

SO much crap, and bad mud, and complication and still nothing coming out right. The boy is beautiful and My Darling is there for me but in the end it's on me.

I wish you Peace

~alison~


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- - 2013-08-16

Darkness - 2013-04-18

Too much - 2013-04-09

Skip - 2013-03-03

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