I had a good night at work tonight, well good night financially. It wasn't a good night emotionally. I try and stay away from hot topics at work, religion, politics and such but when the topic of contraception and whether Catholic run organizations like hospitals and universities should have to provide birth control to their non-catholic employees (because we all know catholic women don't use birth control because it is against the teachings of the church *cough, cough*) I pointed out that Obama wasn't "forcing" churches to go against their conscience but requiring all businesses to provide women's health services including contraception including Church affiliated businesses many of whom receive federal funding. Not unreasonable but in a sign of good faith the administration offered a reasonable compromise; these institutions do not have to offer the services directly but the insurance companies that wish to do business with these entities will, at no additional cost to the health insurance recipient, services the church deems unconscionable.

When I pointed this out the young lady seems happy enough with the compromise but offered unsolicited that she was "born republican" and will be voting for Rick S@ntorum. Being that she was a young, self claimed sexually active women I felt she should understand who she was voting for. This man supports state sanction rape(placing a foreign object into a woman's vagina against her will as a prerequisite for a legal procedure, the legality of which is supported the Supreme Court of our country. Outlawing this procedure is unconstitutional so placing these restrictions is an attempt to side door outlaw a legal medical procedure. As is personhood for blastocysts and fetus. Hell double murder charges for killing a pregnant woman, all acts of pushing towards religious right ( for they are the only supporters of these draconian laws.)

She sat unfaized, nonplussed over it's obvious religious agenda being pushed into the secular government. Never mind the founding fathers, many of them religious ( sizable portion of them not) choose to specifically exclude God in all it forms and rulings from the formation of our defining document. One can not cling and speak with reverence of the framers only to ignore largest argument against organised religious groups to pursue position for the so purpose of forcing theological doctrine on secular nation.

I took him(S@ntorum) to the obscene and arguably most cruel, callous and in compassionate statement made by the man she supports gladly, based on intelligence and wisdom from her vast life experience during her 17 years, soon to graduate from high school and let the word know how it should be.

I quote ""I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created � in the sense of rape � but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you. When life hands you a bad situation you should make lemonade, or in this case a baby.

When faced with this obvious craziness this young inexperience women agreed the the collection of cells and replicating RNA and DNA blended with a violent, possibly mentally deranged (often genetically based mental defective Chromosome) should be forced, to ravage her body unwanted, continuing the rape by nine months and by the laws protecting fathers potential visitation affording even more emotional and possible physical rape,or giving the child up for adoption allowing the father to petition for visitation if he refused to sign off on rights and end, lying to or forcing that child to know that he was the result of a violent attack on his Mum.

If you believe in your God and the loving caring "better place" that awaits young children, preemie's and miscarriages then the same place should be open to the "persons" you imagine them to be. Why would you force someone to have a baby against their will when the baby would have wonders of heaven and resting in God's love. What, misery loves company>

And the very best way to end abortion, contraception available to all who want it.

Of course I walked away from this full cup. There is no point in discussion. I will never see her point as anything other that forcing her religious bias onto my life choices. She will always believe in here divine right to save me and all the non existent possible humans.

I explain all this not to rant about it but to lay a basis for my current situation. I can't sleep, my drop jaw disbelief that such a closeminded was present on one so young sent me reeling and punched and emotional rush that I am still trying to come down from. I was inappropriate, not in a horrible way but with the right manager in shift could have gotten me in trouble. I lost my concentration and although I was cut soon after I still had tables to care for and it was struggle to remember their needs and keep them happy (tip amounts indicated they were indeed just fine so *whew*) I was out of control and in my effort to contain myself avoided the girl for the rest of the night which may have lead to her feeling bad, about me, against me, about herself. I totally disagree with her and I think her beliefs are draconian and misogynistic but I don't want to hurt her emotionally or otherwise. Even though I know she will never change her mind until she has personal contact with the reality of rape I do not wish that she or anyone she knows ever has to try and come back from that horror.

I do wish that I had an emotional off switch. The anti-anxiety drug take a while to kick, long enough to get me in trouble and then the resulting calm is obviously artificial opening Pandora's box at work. Whatever be the chemicals that crash over me is these moments I wish of some way to stop the escalation.

Coming here helps, even if no one reads or (hopefully not) someone is offended.

Sorry to rant about politics but in my defense it really is the emotional problem I am struggling with.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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