I have sat down almost every day to try and make an entry but each time I have been dragged away (even now my husband is minutes away from wanting to go to bed). I am determined to take enough time to catch up on current events. I honestly can't remember where we were. (I just looked back a little and I think I know where to start).

I met with the owner of the little restaurant and looked around the place, got a copy of his valuation and contacted the Small Business Agency to get advice and assistance. The place is smaller than I thought (They make a lot of bread in a tiny commercial stove/oven). We will need a bit of cash to put down but how much isn't known yet. I don't even know how much he is asking. Silly me, I assumed it would be in the financial statements. "Hey, I'm looking to buy your business and I need to look at your numbers (wouldn't you think one of the numbers included would be the price). Evidently not. I have to make an appointment to sit down with the SBA and go through the papers he gave me. On the surface I can see, it's not a cash cow, in fact sales are down, but from the sound of it they are down less than most restaurants have seen over the past two years. According to a local paper most restaurants around here are down 30% while he claims they are only down 5%. He doesn't make much more than I do waiting tables 3 days a week and he works 7 days a week mostly ten hour days. Makes less than minimum wage for all his trouble. I'm still not sure I want to sign on for that. My job is not a good fit for me but most days I make it work. I would like more money, sure who wouldn't, and I could work more days, they would love to have me more hours so I could train people, but that is more time in a high stress job for Miss Emotional. I like the training but then that makes the waiting that much more challenging. So, work like a dog for less money but own the place or keep working for a corporation and generating the required "enthusiasm" from nothing.

My garage is taking shape. Our neck of the woods saw a heat advisory and temperatures over 100 on Saturday, it was blistering. I have to admit I guilted my poor Darling into working on the garage is that insane environment. We actually ended up using the air conditioner I bought so many years ago, the one that does not fit properly in our slider windows having been designed for double hung windows. Why I never got rid of it I couldn't say.

I bought it in 1988 with one of my first paychecks from the job in hell. The very first paycheck was used in it's entirety to pay of the bloody Se@rs card. Those people are relentless and when I had not real income and could barely scrap up money for groceries they demanded payment. OK I know that I took out the credit and I should pay it back but here is the part that pissed me off. Every month I found 10 to 15 dollars to send to them. Every month. And still they call me, my work, my parents and any other number they could find and harassed me. Paying something wasn't enough, it had to be all or they were going to ruin my credit forever. The lady in charge of my card was relentless and cruel. I swore the day I paid my card and made them cut it up that I would never shop there again. For the record, never is a long time and though I still don't have a card from the store I have made purchases more recently.

Anyway, back to blistering heat and necessity being the mother of invention, we propped the unit in the doorway to the back yard and plugged the hole above with drywall, shut the garage door a cranked the sucker up. I don't know if it would have eventually cooled it down completely (I remember in the day it could cool my whole house down) but it took the edge off and provided a spot to cool down. An hour or so after we got that going the rain came and cooled everything down so we could open it all up again and enjoy the cross breeze. We got the braces on the back wall up on Saturday and the frame up on Sunday. Hopefully next weekend we will get the shelves secured and the side wall de-constructed and reconstructed to it's new configuration. Once everything is up on the shelves it will be dojo time. I might get a few months before the weather turns and it needs to be packed up so as to return the garage to a garage. And this time, with new shelves in place it will be an actual two car garage in more than just name.

Today I worked. It was hard and busy and I stressed out a bit but all in all it was ok. I made good money and got to see a couple of folks I had not seen in a while. One of my regulars came in after being gone for so long. Turns out her husband (such a sweet and happy man) passed away and she wasn't getting out as much. It was so nice to see her, even though I am sad for her. It doesn't always help to remind myself no one gets out of here alive, I still understand that loss is still loss and no matter how long you live it isn't really enough, it seems short. At my age I think back and realize those "old ladies and men" from my youth were my age. I feel young. Too young to be "going through the change" All my life I have been strong ('strong like bull' said with a poor Russian accent). I worked on cars, I muscled around with the boys and although I was never as strong I was always (said with expression of awe) "really strong for a girl". Now I can't do things I used to do. I can't just muscle my way through things. I have to ask my Darling for help and that makes me feel weak. I don't like losing my young strong self. Hovering at the half way point, with luck, I have more compassion, I think, for the people teetering on the edge.

Enough of the maudlin, I have a half done garage and something new to work on even if it comes to nothing. Oh and I am still running around 30 minutes for three miles. Not too shabby for this:p old lady right?

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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