Midnight.

After two hours laying in the dark in our bed I finally left so my Darling could get some sleep. Then an hour in the dark downstairs before I gave up and got on the computer. My Darling says, and rightly so, it's harder to fall asleep when you are doing something, still I;m bored and wide awake. I have a little headache too. I took something for it but it hasn't kicked in yet. I'm not sure what is causing the current sleeplessness. I thought maybe the job but that usually means I sleep ok when I don't have to work the next day. I haven't had a full nights sleep in a week. Could be the change in seasons, that's had an effect before. I just don't know.

I know I am frustrated. Baby boy refuses to be potty trained. I have moved him to underwear accidents and all in the hopes he will get tired of the mess before I do. It's going to be harder to get the my daycare lady on board. She's good about honoring our wishes but this is a lot to ask. So far he still hasn't pooped in the potty but once. He knows when he has to poop, I know because he goes and hides, I just need him to be uncomfortable enough to use the potty rather than hide. I'm hopping having no diaper/pullup safety net will do the trick. At least he stays dry and uses the potty to pee on his own.

Tomorrow I need to work ten hours again. I'm not looking forward to it especially if I don't get any sleep. Thursday I was so busy there for a while I was shaking. I got everything done with no trouble, everyone was happy but still I get the shakes when the pressure build. Then, of course there was the drama (see my last post if you are really interested). Monday is a better crew and manager but it's still ten hours, a bit of a marathon, hard to manage on no sleep.

I just had a lovely chat with my niece out west (it's a reasonable hour for her). I wish she was closer, besides the obvious babysitting benefit she is a sweet girl and she is family something I am sorely lacking at the moment. I have overwhelmed my parents calling them all the time so I am trying to resist the urge to call. Once a week is reasonable, so they don't worry. I miss them though. I have My Darling and Baby Boy but extended family is a good thing. Even My Darling has suggested we need to take time to visit his family more often. It's so easy to get caught up in your day to day and miss out on the pleasure of family. Then they are not there and you miss them desperately.

It's time for me to try and sleep again. My headache is eased up a bit maybe I can drop off now. Won't be as nice as snuggled up with My Darling but he needs his sleep too and one of us should get sleep if they can.

G'night

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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