Second post today - hop back if you want a taste of my first draft personal statement.

I've been thinking about the whole meditation thing. I recently read Shunrye Suzuki's biography and he was a proponent of zazen (sitting meditation). Faced with a problem or students question he would say, "let's sit" and more often than not never answer the question. Still he attracted some of the most fervent followers of Buddhism in this country. While I understand the thought process and even the benefit of being in the moment (pain and all). I can't bring myself to sit for an hour at a time, fifteen minutes is a stretch. The closest thing I have to meditation is my Karate.

I am still eking away at the garage as once mess replaces the last so as to make the whole thing seem impossible. And what if I get it cleaned and the rug down finally. Then I must find the time to do it.

I feel guilty all the time that I don't do more. Keep a better house, take better care of my son and husband. OMG you should see the ridiculous mess that passes for a yard and gardens. No veggie garden this year just a sea of weeds where there should be ordered rows of produce.

I guess maybe I have given up on the garage but I am working on the writing. Yesterday I wrote for over 2 hours, unaware of the passage of time. Not meditation but refreshing none the less. The chance to even think about pursuing a degree in creative writing has lit a fire under me. It makes returning to work such a small thing in the new grand scheme. Even if I am not accepted I will have succeeded in pulling myself up and the momentum that creates will carry me beyond. I can find the moments, here, with my words. Telling the story, of my life and my follies. The good the bad and the ridiculously silly.

The lady at triple a said she thought I should make a commercial for them. I made her laugh. I like that. I like the stories I tell, and I guess I shouldn't care if the people I share them with like them or not. They are free to walk away, or not read, if they are not interested.

Living in the moment, one word at a time.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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