I'm quite excited right now. Over the weekend we got chickens, well chicks really. While out at the local tractor store (we live in hicksville I swear) we saw the little chickens on sale and my Darling, knowing how much I really want chickens, not only bought all the stuff, he also came home and built a little chick cage. He then promptly began planning out the coop and run. I must admit I had trepidation about the project, in large part because my Darling is quite overworked already and complaining all the tie about projects he can't get to and here I am piling on. I can't do it by myself and it seems so unfair to add to his already heavy workload. He gets irritated with me sometimes cause I want to do stuff but when I see the work involved or the cost I change my mind. Honestly I just hate him spending money we could use elsewhere or taking on more work just for me. He also complains that I never ask for anything, and says "how can you get anything if you don't ask". I guess I just don't believe I deserve anymore than I already have. Really I have so much it seems greedy to ask for more. I find it easier to say "sure honey, you should buy that, you deserve it" than "honey will you get that for me?".

Maybe that's the problem. I can spend my own money on myself (although lately I haven't had much so I don't) but asking for him to buy me stuff, it just makes me feel like a little kid. How do woman, stay at home Mom types, deal with the not earning money but spending it thing?

My SIL is a stay at home. She was even before she had a kid and somehow justifies that her hubby's money is their money. She babysits which give her some money but does she ask (beg) for money?

My other SIL works even though they could survive on his paycheck. Does she do that because she doesn't want to give up "her" money?

It's weird. I wonder all the time how other folks handle this. In my first marriage my ex had no problem spending my money (which I never thought of as "mine" until he simply refused to work). My Darling and I used to devide stuff and share expenses but now he shoulders most of the financial and my pitiful earnings cover so very little I feel like a parasite. Probably why I resist asking for things from him.

Hmm. Interesting.

But I have chickens, how cool is that?

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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