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2007-03-28 - 1:31 p.m.

There was a time when you coasted in and out of my mind carrying with you the emotions that accompanied those last few weeks. The anger, heartbreak and feeling of betrayal tempered only slightly by the knowledge that those awful acts released me from the prison my marriage had become. Your indiscretion proved the key to my freedom. Still it took time before I felt able to trust myself again. It took time for me to decide who I wanted to be and what I wanted out of the new life which lay before me.

I don�t know where you are or what direction your life has taken. I suspect it is not much different that the life we once shared, different names but the same game. My curiosity pulls me to wonder about your circumstances even as I know I would neither revel in your misfortune nor begrudge you any happiness. I have come to terms with the truth that you are the person that you always were I am the one who was transformed. I crossed over from the land of misery into the light. You could never have followed me here.

I stand on the brink of a new beginning. I will make a commitment to My Darling to share the rest of my life with him. My only regret is that I let this commitment be sullied by my concession to your insecurities. Your desire to possess me and my families desire to see me settled away led to me going against my own better judgment and promising you a future I knew you would never be able to share. I know the difference now. I can see a future with My Darling and the little life we have created.

You no longer bring with you pain and anger when you cross my mind. Now I can only think with wonder how small my life once was compared to the life I have now. With you my world spanned the country but only as I hopped from darkened bar to darkened bar. Now I stand out in the sunlight, I hold my Darlings hand as we stroll or I follow him though the woods on my bike with my swirling mind and my heart racing.

I am alive, I am in Love and I just wanted to say goodbye. You will cross my mind again I know as I am sure I still cross yours but you will never have the power to hurt me again. My Darling has stood by as I pieced my life back together and his love is pure and selfless, a mirror to my own.

Goodbye, I wish you well


I wish you Peace

~alison~


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