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2007-02-14 - 1:23 p.m.

I�m thinking about the concept of Karma. I know plenty of folks both religious and non who embrace the concept. Recently My youngest brother whom I less than affectionately refer to as idiotboy has attempted to �reconnect� with the rest of us siblings. The standing response from us has been to ignore such advances, be polite when confronted with his personage but otherwise ignore his existence. This response was never discussed but non-the-less the united front towards his irresponsible and leech-like ways. So when his Birthday came round I simply let the day pass as I have for many years now. Imagine my surprise and chagrin to find that both of my other brothers had broken our unspoken agreement and called to wish him a happy day. My mother wanted to know if I too would call him with belated wishes. As if. When I confronted my older sibling he informed me he was working on his Karma.

I don�t believe in Karma, I think that Shit Happens and whether you are a really good person or bad person or anything in between has no bearing on it. Besides, I don�t believe detachment from a damaged and damaging personality is a bad thing. I don�t want this man in my life. I don�t want this man in my family�s life. The fact that he is blood is coincidental to my decision to exclude him from my life. His poor judgment makes him dangerous to be around.

I do not want to call him. I do not want to talk to him. I do not want to pretend for even one minute that I care about him or his life. I will mourn his passing for the pain it causes my parents whom I love and his children whom I care for as well but I will not miss the man.

Once there was a tow-headed little boy. He smiled and laughed and hugged easily. He also cried and schemed and manipulated his environment with cold detachment. There has always been something wrong with that boy and as a man he is no different. I don�t for the life of me believe he cares one bit for me, anymore than I care for him, but there is a game that he plays, always, and he refuses to let me off the board.

I have taken my piece off the board myself and I will live with the consequences as they are.

House watch 2007:

No news is good news. We are awaiting the response to our offer, the deadline is tomorrow.

I wish you Peace

~alison~


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