It is the heart that bears the pain and gladness that proceeds and follows the ancient sacred day. Even when the faith behind the celebration has been lost there are still so many reasons to engage in the energy of the season surrounding others celebration. I personally find great joy in gifting. I must exercise incredible restraint or I will over gift which leaves those I love feeling guilty and I feeling a little under whelmed. It�s easy to over gift because I gather gifts over the course of several months and thus can spend a considerable amount without feeling the pinch. Of course I haven�t checked my account lately so I might be down more than I expect. My Darling as a bit aghast at the number of gifts I pulled out of the bedroom after wrapping (in my defense I have wrapped single t-shirts and only combined a few items so it looks like more than it is. Still I wager at least $150 - 200 worth of presents for My Darling wait beneath the tree and an additional $75 lies in wait for his birthday in January. I know of plenty of couple who spend a great deal more on each other so I shouldn�t feel so bad but My Darling�s sister and brother in law claim to limit their gifting to a mere $50 (he admitted to going over the limit, due to jewelry purchase I�m sure). My Darlings mother suggested that we spend our money too freely because we admitted to being over $100 dollars for gifts. Maybe it�s because she thinks we are too poor to spend that amount but I can�t imagine why she would think that, we are both in decent positions and although I don�t make what I should make I make up for it at the restaurant. Between the two I make at least what I was making in CA. My Darling makes more than when he was in CA. When I spoke to his Mom about our intent to buy a home she suggested that it would be impossible �with the way we spend money�. I was at the very least disturbed and possibly insulted that she would feel the compulsion to say such a thing rather than be supportive.

Of course My Darling assures me that his mother has open mouth insert foot disease and I should disregard all uncomplimentary utterances. Between her latest statements and the push for us to �make it legal� I find it a bit uncomfortable sometimes. They all claim to welcome me as �one of the family� but I don�t want to get sucked in like I did the last time.

We had a picture taken, the professional (sort of) kind that comes with a package of photos including 8x10�s for the Moms and one for us. Everyone has been nagging about a photo of the two of us and I would like a newer one to carry about myself so we broke down and had it done. I�m not thrilled with the result but as my Darling reminds me I am unhappy with all of my photos (except when I was ridiculously thin and thus somewhat pretty to my eyes.) Lucky for me My Darling finds me attractive (and sexy) just the way I am.

The Holiday will be a private affair, just the two of us. Although I have to work on the eve and the day after at the restaurant I have Monday and Tuesday off at my day job so I�ll be relaxed at least when I head off to the restaurant. Hopefully the flurry of gift returns will result in some decent tips. I swear some people take their overspending out on me sometimes giving less than ten percent despite excellent (or at least really good) service. The good news is other people make up for it by being more generous so my income hasn�t been that affected by the scrooges.

By the by Ms Zuzu, package is coming (tube) and I included return postage. I have the frame ready and I will wait patiently for the return (see return address). The post office assured me you should be able to reuse the tube and simply readdress, place included postage on the package and mail.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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