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2006-10-24 - 12:08 p.m.

Here I stand amongst the colors sniffing the odor of burning leaves waiting for the familiar smell of snow. It seems centuries ago this was my world now destiny (and family) has brought me back. When I am able to separate myself from my physical discomfort I can appreciate the beauty of the landscape. Vibrant reds and yellows paint the trees who deposit their colors in my path creating the familiar crunch underfoot.


I guess as much as I want to be poetic, right now I�m caught up in the day to day. My Darling is testing for a new position which would move him to a more manageable shift. Still not quite days, it would bring him home nights in time for a late supper followed by movie, TV, game, whatever. I am awaiting my own job transition. I have never worked temp to hire before so I am unfamiliar with the process but as I understand it the company I am contracted to have until Friday to renew my contract or hire me on. According to the temp company the president and HR are �discussing� it right now. It�s difficult to stay focused with that unresolved.

My Darling and I tried to make best use of our fertile weekend and now it is all over but the waiting, we shall see in a couple of weeks. I�m amazed at the patience required for this process. I�m not really good at waiting (but your whole life has been about waiting, you say). Yes, but I distract myself with work. Speaking of work, my Darling has suggested that I should quit my other job if I am hired on. I must admit the hours are wearing but ohh do I like the spare change. I like that I don�t need to scrimp (I do it anyway, but I like that I don�t have to). I would like to transfer the savings I will gain for prescription insurance to paying down my debt (an activity which will increase our chances of obtaining a mortgage). I have been eking away at the pile since I separated from my leach and though I have made a respectable dent there is still quite a ways to go. If I let go of my extra income I will not be able to accelerate my payoff. Right now my working two jobs is simply a moral issue for my Darling (he doesn�t like that I have to work two jobs) but if he gets a day shift position it will become am larger issue as he will be home nights waiting on me. It grates on both of us to never see each other because of his awful shift it will be hard to justify sacrificing the opportunity to share time with him to pad my bank account or diminish my debt faster. I don�t think I really want to work that much either I just do it now because of the greed and a desire to keep myself busy so as not to fall into the pit.

I�m late for lunch (need to call my Darling) so I will come back to this.

I wish you Peace

~alison~


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