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2006-06-26 - 5:05 p.m.

I have been here for exactly 2 hours (ok it�s really give or take ten minutes or so) and I have obsessed over:

1) My clothes: which lead to an ironing incident in which the hotel iron leaked water onto my new pants purchased specifically for the dinner tonight. The spots when first dry were entirely too visible and I was certain (certain I tell you) that they would remain for all to see the schlub that I am. Fortune smiled and now that the pants are all the way dry I can not find said spots (whew!)

2) Missing paperwork: the lack of which sent me first to my computer and then to my e-mail and finally using my flash as transport I sidled (ok more like scooted) down to the bis�ness center only to find that the silly computer hooked to the printer wasn�t equipped with certain software and was forced to race back to my room, change format and return to said center before finally printing the missing pages. All without running into the man who interviewed me and will be my dining partner this evening (don�t want to appear scattered).

3) Three rooms reserved: I assumed I was the only one invited (I would hate to still be one of two). I know one is for the interviewer and if I�m lucky the other is for the salesman from the region (I just thought of that a little while ago) but it could be another candidate. Arrgg!!

And lastly, I have been wondering lately if I really am a filamigibit (ala Ms. Andrews). My Darling maintains I can not walk and chew gum at the same time (and there is some truth in that, I know I am easily distracted) but I am able to do my job, both my current job (waitress) and the one I am auditioning for tomorrow. Both jobs required significant multitasking. I have done well in every job I have held but here�s the thing, My Darling is right I really al a mess when I am not at work. It�s like I hold it all together at work and then shut down when I get home.

What I am most afraid of is that my child (if I have one) will see that I am an idiot (or think I am) and not respect me. I wonder if My Darling respects me (I shouldn�t because he comes to me for advice when he isn�t sure about something and he listens to what I have to say on a subject). Still�.

I suppose this is more of the same and this �on display� mode of the next two days is making me extra paranoid right now.

Nothing to do but sit in the hotel room and wait for the call.

On the up side the room has a Jacu##i tub so after dinner I may enjoy a soak before bed; drown the voices, if you will. A little light reading and an early to bed and I shall be ready for anything on the morrow. Either that or I�ll be back later, sobbing uncontrollably (I�m optimistically anticipating the former).

Thanks for the good wishes so far.

I wish you Peace

~alison~


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