I have a job! It�s not a chemical or field service job but it is employment with pretty decent earning potential. Yes folks, I have returned to my reliable standby for guaranteed income. I will start Tuesday as server for a mostly breakfast restaurant chain, yay for me. I have always been very good at waiting tables; it is the same skill that makes me good at all customer support positions. Recognizing the importance of the customer and going out of my way to make sure they are satisfied regardless of my personal opinion of the person. I can smile genuinely for angel and a** alike, it�s just part of the job. If there is decent traffic for breakfast I could earn upwards of $20 and hour (trouble is you can never get enough hours so you don�t make the kind of money at that rate as you do at a 40 hour a week job.) Still its money coming in and that will help me to stretch the vacation payout and paycheck I received when I left my job.

Monday afternoon while my Darling and I were out searching for a couch my phone rang and it was my Mom. She wanted to know where I was. I realized at that moment that my Parents (with niece and nephew in tow) had not gone south for spring break as they had told me when I arrived at my new home on Friday but instead (as Darling had predicted and I had poo-poo�d) they drove the 5 hours to surprise me in my new home.

Surprise!

My Mom (still sporting a broken leg and walking cast) worked her way up the 2 � flights to my new apartment on her butt pushing herself up with her good leg. Seems she is more comfortable that way then with crutches or the wheelchair. Since we have no couch and had only dining room chairs to offer for seating it wasn�t exactly a comfortable visit, Mom enjoyed the best seat in the house (the wheelchair). I showed them around the new place and my parents dutifully ignored the single king sized bed which more than indicated our �living in sin� status.

The following day they occupied themselves around town taking the kids to the pool and shopping. We met last night at a local restaurant for �all you can eat� crab legs of which my Darling, my Father, and I indulged in while the kids and Mom opted for less troublesome dining. It was a pleasant evening. I am not at all surprised at the similarity of my Darling and my Fathers sense of humor since I share my Fathers humor and thus would be attracted to someone who shares my sense of humor. (Never you mind about the �marrying a man like your father� thing.)

This morning I got the job and tonight I will see my parents once more before they head back home. I�m not sure when we will head their way but I imagine it will be somewhat soon (depending on work schedules). This weekend is the big meet of my Darlings family at his folk�s house. I�m a little shy about it but seeing as I am credited with �bringing him back home� I guess it will be fine.

I am still feeling lost and overwhelmed. I don�t want to feel this way of course, I want to see this as a great adventure, the chance to reinvent myself once again, yadda, yadda, but instead I feel like I have chucked a really great moment in time for an illusion. Who am I to think that I can have the Mommy track? We talk about it as though it is just a matter of time but how much time do I really have left? I can�t even explore options since I am, at the moment, sans medical ins. and thus twisting in the healthcare wind. I am afraid to want it this much because everything I have ever wanted this badly has eluded me. I know that worrying is silly but I can�t seem to stop and this discomfort from the move simply intensifies the worry. I am happy to have this job to focus on so that I am not left dwelling day to day on the possibilities and lack there of waiting for me in the not to distant future.

BTW, does anyone have a couch I can have cheap (or free)?

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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