I arrived last night (around 2:30 am EST) in my new hometown. As we drove through the deserted streets past the blinking yellow lights that replace the normal stoplights during the wee hours of the morning in many small towns in this country I was struck (hard) with an overwhelming feeling. You may know the feeling I am talking about, the "what was I thinking" feeling. I cried last night. I am not necessarily unhappy, on the contrary, I haven't been here long enough to dislike anything but I am feeling out of place, out of sorts, lost. Not that I want to complain or anything, after all, I wanted this, I worked to make it happen, it's just that now that I am here, well, it doesn't feel like home. CA didn't originally feel like home either so I shouldn't jump to any formal conclusions but still...

The drive was long and hard. I am tired but so happy that I got the sheer pleasure of meeting Sandy in Arkansas. She was how I had expected, an easy smile and a warm throaty laugh that sparkled in her eyes. I can not tell you how it felt to be in the presence of someone who has inspired and supported me over the past few years. A friend as surely as any 3D.

The mountains were spectacular. I wasn't able to visit her mountain nor was I privilidged to meet her husband but perhaps I will pass that way again and if so I would love to meet both the mountain and the man.

The new apartment is worn around the edges having hosted one too many families (or more) but I have come to expect that so I don't even get disappointed anymore. I will find a way to live with it as I have done in the past. I just hate spending so much for a luxury apartment only to find the cupboard doors are chewed and the appliances are from the 80's. Everything works and it is laid out nicely so I'm sure it will be fine.

I need to get a job though, so Monday I will head out to the local resturants and see if they are in need of waitstaff. I also have an option to work at a grocery store (both jobs would be temporary till I find a chemical job). The important thing is that I get some money coming in because the move cost WAY more than we originally thought. Instead of the trailer we originally rented we were forced to rent a 17' truck to get all our stuff back here. My car was towed behind the truck. Boy was that fun to drive. I don't care to do that again (of course I said the same thing about living where it snows and look at me now).

I'm on a borrowed computer so I will keep this short. I will organize my thoughts and comeback when my system is up and running.

For now I am here, I am alive and I am, well?

I wish you Peace

~alison~

�