Man, I just want to kick myself. I had 6K in cash in my RV offered and there was time, plenty of time, before my move. I could have been over right then and there but NO! I had to think I could do a little better. Then I was offered 7K and I still said no, I thought I would make 8K if I just waited it out. Now I am waiting to hear back from a guy who has offered 2500. That�s right you heard me. I�m trying to get him up to 4K but most likely the best I can do is 3K. My life is full of these type of miscalculations. I feel like a failure all the time and I know the people around me can see it. Why they stick around is anyone�s guess.

The hardest part about this whole thing is knowing that My Darling thinks I am an idiot. He would never say it and I suppose he forgives me but he thinks it, I can see it in his eyes. As I head into my last week I feel like he has lost some respect for me and how do I win that back. Can I? I am afraid I will cross the country with this man and he will decide I am not worth it. Then what?

Crap! I hate this stupid crap that follows my stupidity. I have no one to blame but myself. No grand plan, no karma, no fate, just stupid choices leading to me getting the shaft.

Well I suppose I will call the guys in a little while and see if I can get $500 out of them and consider myself lucky to have anything at all.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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