Bare minimum I would have to say I�m overwhelmed. My decision to move back closer to home was based on a desire to A) Be closer to my parents so I can enjoy their company before they die and B) So I would be able to afford my own American Dream.

I am T -5 weeks and counting and in the past month since I made my decision my Mother has fallen and broken her leg/ankle, my niece has decided to play �girrrl interrupted� getting locked up for a week most likely for the attention. It�s not that she doesn�t need help (and probably the medical kind like me) it�s just that this wasn�t about that; this was about a 12 year old seeking attention. All and all my families world has pretty much gone to shit. Needless to say everyone is eagerly awaiting my return (can you say �crap!�).

Yeah, overwhelmed might be an understatement. My Darling is becoming a bit unglued as some of his ideas present some difficulty and he, being human, doesn�t always handle them perfectly. I don�t say anything one way or the other when he gets frustrated. Nothing to say but I love you and let me know when you are over this. We all have those moments. Our lives are NOT proceeding as we believe they should and we convince ourselves that we are victims of some cruel twist of fate, or God, or the Devil, Karma or jus plain bad luck. For a moment we indulge in sorrow for ourselves and it is neither pretty nor healthy but it is most surely normal.

This is where I choose to indulge my inner pitiful Pearl. I feel as thought the world is raining down on my and I want to cry out WHY ME! Of course we all know the answer to that one. Why Not!!

So many of the people I have eavesdropped on in this forum have faced and overcome so many more tragic events than I. To be honest, I sometimes feel guilty even feeling this way but since that is a path to destruction as well I compromise by coming here and saying; I�m not having a good time right now but I will be better soon. Even though I�m not happy I will still pay attention because soon all this will be exchanged for a whole new life and though I am pretty much done with this incarnation I still want to squeeze every drop out of it. I will never pass this way again.

Funny how in the past the more going on in my life the more I posted, now I have a hard time forcing myself to write something, anything.

Too much stuff

Overload

Shorting out the wiring

Wait for me, I�ll be back I promise.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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