Now for number two:

Love is blind, or at least that is what they say. I wish I could tell you that I was blinded by love but the reality is that my ex fit into my plans. I wanted to travel the country a little. I wanted to get to California and try my hand at a little acting. I wanted to drop out of the responsible, respectable world that had failed me and dip my toe in the muddy waters.

I�m embarrassed to have to admit I married him. It would be a lot less embarrassing if, in fact, I did love him but even then I knew he was the right person for the job and not someone who filled me with love. I was allowed to misbehave with him. It is hard for me to admit to people who know me that I was stupid enough to marry him. Everyone can understand the playing around with a bad boy but marrying him was just plain stupid. I deserve all the pain he put me through based on stupidity alone.

I must admit that I, a rational and intelligent, self-sufficient woman, married a lazy, leach of a man who, as it turned out, didn�t even remain all that good looking.

Did I mention that I was forced to go to my boss of less than three months and explain that I needed the rest of the day off so I could get a restraining order against my husband? These people who I had just met were treated to my unraveling in public as I fought to stay ahead of the storm.

He cheated on me and then claimed the part of the wronged party. While that damns him in most eyes I have the pleasure of being THAT wife. You know the one I�m talking about; the wife who is the last to know that her husband has replaced her in his heart and worse, in our bed, (icky).

The only up side is most of the people I know and love have forgiven me and allowed me to move on, still the embarrassment is there. Long after the love and pain, betrayal and infidelity, regret and lamentation are over the embarrassment will live on.

Lucky for me the man I love never knew that woman. He was fortunate enough to know me and I am better than the woman who allowed such poor judgment to create so much wreckage.

But wait there�s more�

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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