I'm sorry I haven't posted for a while but I was busy being sick. It was a nasty bit of flu this time around but I was once again spared the respiratory module of this illness most assuredly due to my continued quit.

Recently I have found myself returning to the sites that were so inspirational to me during the first days, weeks, months, of my quit and providing support. I am not sure whether it is because of the article or because I am pre-occupied with quitting stuff. I quit smoking but lest we forget (and I must admit I try to at times) I also quit drinking. That anniversary is January 11 and it will be two years. I don�t go to meetings anymore (in fact I stopped going regularly long before my 1st anniversary) and although I have stopped by from time to time so that folks won�t think I�ve slipped I just can�t seem to bring myself to sit through the whining. I know that I am not immune to the whine, in fact I often find myself whining quite long and loud about my own crap. Why then am I so intolerant of the whine in others and only as it applies to alcohol?

I have endless tolerance for the smoker. This is why I can spend time at the quit smoking sites offering support and encouragement while I have no desire to trot off to a meeting and hear the same people complain about the same things day after day. I wonder about the people who still go to meetings every day after years and years of sobriety, it seems as though they have traded one addiction for another. Still this is an occasion and some of my closest friends think I should mark it. My Darling doesn�t weigh in partly because he isn�t really aware of the date (it was before we met, before even the official separation) and partly because he doesn�t even know that person (I�m not sure I do either anymore).

This date next week was the official start of the race to the end of my marriage in my mind (although I�m still pretty certain he and his �smoking buddy� were working on that before Christmas). I�m sure that this year will be easier than last and it will get easier every year,

AND I also have the beginning of my relationship with My Darling to remember fondly, from our meeting in April when I insisted that I could not date him because

A. I was going through a divorce.

B. He was far too young for me.

C. He smoked (he quit a few months into the relationship). and

D. He is far too young for me (that bears repeating even though I am quite in love with the man)

to our first date (which lasted all night and not that kind of �all night� you with the dirty mind), and every wonderful time that came after. I have had many good things mixed in with the bad over the past two years and if I can keep my minds eye on the positives I will make it through the mind field (that is not a typo).

I still am stuck with the decision of what to do on the 11th.

Do I let the day slide by and allow that part of my life to fade away as it should?

Do I mark the occasion the traditional way which would involve receiving a chip and making a speech in front of virtual (and not the internet kind of virtual) strangers?

Or should I try and find some other way to celebrate another milestone on this new path of mine?

I�m open to suggestions.

Nothing new to report on other fronts but in my defense I was icky sick and now he is icky sick so I�m still waiting.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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