I hope that everyone had a very Merry Christmas. I thoroughly enjoyed my day. I received many wonderful gifts (thoughtful every one) with two still pending my input. The best gift as far as I'm concerned is a very old dictionary. For those of you who do not know this I have an attraction to old books (LOVE! the old book smell) especially dictionaries. Language and the changes over time fascinate me and dictionaries are a lasting document of that change. This particular book comes with an added bonus, it is undated. While it is most obviously old (the binding is sewn) there is no copyright or printing date. This means that it is also a great puzzle. The dictionary is complete with a colored world atlas (placing it somewhat by the printed colors) and so careful consideration of the countries and their borders will assist me in determining the age of the book. My Darling has paid attention and spent much time finding and purchasing appropriate gifts.

One of the gifts pending my input is a ring. Before any major excitement it is not THAT ring but simply a sign of his affection. My ex was never concerned about my taste. His selections of jewelry were based on what he liked. For example, he liked yellow gold. I always felt that yellow gold didn't suit my skin color and so I preferred silver, white gold and the more expensive platinum. I don't even remember sharing this with my Darling (although I must have at some point) because he was looking for a white gold or platinum ring for me. He decided he didn't really know my taste well enough to buy me a ring by himself (you can't go by my jewelry collection because there are only two rings selected by me left, certainly not enough to base a selection on). I Love that he is concerned about what I want.

Of course the holidays also bring questions from friends and family as to the plans for your future relationship and the inevitable "when are you two going to get married?" When Darling shared the plan for a ring there was a momentary flash of excitement from his family (he is so young still and they want so much for him to marry and settle down.) I sometimes feel guilty because I know that if I were any other girl and/or if I were his age without my recent marriage disaster to color my choices I would have probably suggested the idea myself by now. I know that he is a big boy and he makes up his own mind about staying with me under these conditions but his family worries for him and so do I. I don't want him to be hurt, I love him very much and am even considering having a family with him (feasible or not the thought is there) and I wish him nothing but happiness. I just hope that we can continue to enjoy this shared happiness.

He liked his gifts as well. He wasn't surprised at the some of the gifts which just tells me that he has noticed that I pay attention to what he likes and I got him on a few (like the game that was sitting under the tree already when he mentioned to me that it had come out, he hadn't expected me to buy it even after he had told me about it let alone discover it myself). I rediscovered the Christmas joy I had lost during the last lost years. My younger brother is experiencing a lean year and his wife suggested they skip gifts for each other, thankfully he ignored her. I told him that no matter how sincere she is it doesn't bode well for a relationship when you stop taking the time to look for and find the perfect gift for someone you love. It is a sign, real or not, of waning love that can help to extinguish a struggling light. Even if it is just a silly cheap gift that will make them laugh it is important to give of your time for the one you love. How much money is not important, time spent is so much more impressive. I will never again succumb to the �rational� decision to forgo Christmas due to financial considerations. No matter what, you need to show your love for one another or you will begin to doubt and then it�s all over but the shouting.

I am a lucky woman. I have a man that gives of his time for me. This was a better Christmas that my first few with my ex despite all the money bozo spent, if for no other reason than all the gifts were well thought out and lovingly presented.

I hope that all of you were lucky enough to experience the love of the people whose lives you have touched and the joy of showing your love for them. Thank you for being there for me over this past year. My life continues to get better, now if I could just place the last piece in the puzzle just so I can know for sure where we stand. Fingers crossed all, I�ll let you know.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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