As luck would have it I have had a most challenging week. After seeing my PCP to obtain a referral to an orthopedic hand specialist on Monday I settled in for the long wait on the insurance company. Wednesday I received a phone call from the hospital, it seems that I have a co-pay on my occupational therapy sessions. When I started therapy I inquired about my responsibility for a co-pay because my insurance cheat sheet says I have a co-pay on physical therapy and I wasn�t sure if that applied for OT as well. I was told there was none. So I tripped to therapy twice a week for four months. For those of you not strong in math:

16 x 2 x 15 = $480

Yup, that�s right almost five hundred dollars, and they would like it now thank you. I am understandably upset. I would have paid at the time of service preferably (as co-pays are generally handled) and perhaps limited my sessions to within my budget. But NO! They have a policy you see, and that�s just the way they do it. Seems they can�t accept less than $50 per account and each month is a separate account so to avoid being reported as in arrears I must pony up at least $200.

But Wait, There�s More!!

Who else should contact me within 24 hours of the hospital but the Surgery center. Seems I still owe them $186.75 for the last two surgeries. That�s an odd number you say? (So did I.) Some small overpayment by the insurance company was applied to my $100 co-pay and so, voila, the number above. I could have sworn I paid at least one of them but I haven�t yet performed the research into my checking account that will undoubtedly prove that I am mistaken.

Just as I begin to make payments on the tax burden imposed on me by the clerical error in my human resources department too.

There is no financial rest for the fiscally wicked.

It�s not all bad news. The PCP called on Friday with the referral and my fast response garnered me a spot this Friday (made available by a cancellation, hurrah!) This means that I am that much closer to freedom from this metal torturing me.

I have also made strides at work, receiving some recognition for my work (and much needed respect) and I have made up my mind that surgery or no, I will take the next technical trip providing expertise (not back) to the customer. I don�t need to grunt with the boys, you can use day workers for that I am an Engineer (at least that is what I want to be and I will fake it till, well you know the drill). I�m sure the older guys in my position don�t do manual labor. Wish me luck with this one.

Still I have been overworked, under rested and sedentary leading to a depressed and overall sluggish demeanor. With my Darling banished to the nightshift Monday through Thursday I have experienced a conflicting emotional reaction. While I enjoy the time that is mine to spend as I wish (not near enough of it spent writing due in part to my aching hand and in part to my lethargy) I miss him. The weekends are fun and we have so far balanced activity and relaxation enough that I do feel somewhat rested heading back to work on Monday. But I miss having him around. I find myself waiting up at least one night a week to see him and share his �day�. The nights I head off to sleep I am sometimes awakened to loving caresses that invariably lead to passionate expression of our love. I would not trade that time but it does translate to weary days.

Last night I was awake when he got home and lay beside him awake long after his soft breathing turned to the even rhythm of the slumbering. This morning the alarm wrenched me out of sleep and I headed to work dazed and sleepy. Monthly reports awaited me and I swear the first time I looked up it was 1:30. The day had raced past and I was still several hours from completion. I had a short chat with my Love on the phone before he started his workday and worked an hour past my quit time (I�m salaried so no cha-ching for me) and still had to resign myself to finishing the report tomorrow.

I walked into my apartment drained and exhausted only to find that this man who so casually chatted away with me before work had set me up. There on our bed he had arranged the bear he had bought me for Valentine�s Day, a dried rose from my collection and a hand written note on a thank you card. Sentiments are hard to elicit from men even for special occasions and my Darling just shows up (or leaves me with) a token (remember my rose?) of his love for me out of the blue. He doesn�t wait for an event to speak his love (nor does he forget the events). He makes my heart swell and he takes my breath away with his loving kindness.

My Darlings words are the sweetest things that have ever been said to me made truly special because he wrote them down. For me, the handwritten sentiment is grander than any monetary gift. I love this man. I love him for who he is today. In the past I fell in love with a potential, today I am lucky enough to love kinetic.

Share with me My Thank You.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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