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2005-08-03 - 3:59 p.m.

Well the good news is that my Darling, my Dearheart, has gotten a job offer in his range. He is also interviewing tomorrow and does not have to decide about the offer til friday. This has improved his mood considerably. The less good news is that the position is afternoons which will reduce our time spent together. When he asked how I felt I told him that if he wants to work in the field (calibration) and this is going to pay enough then not to worry we will make it work. We are grown-ups after all and sometimes we have to do what needs to be done. This is one of those times.

Having discussed the situation with a good friend I believe that I need to make a leap of faith and talk about the future with this man and how we are going to make things work in more than just scheduling. I have been avoiding things because I didn't want to be dissappointed. I guess in some ways I would rather live in a delusion than face facts and have to start over. I need to have more faith in this man, I need to trust that he is the man I think he is and not the man I fear he might be. No matter what happens I will make things work (I always have in the past albiet badly at times).

Of late it seems as though I spend a lot of time on the outside looking in on others lives and suffering. I myself am not really having a bad time other than being surrounded by people in pain. I almost feel guilty about complaining about my wrist or petty troubles when so many I care about have real troubles. It does help me to appreciate the good in my life.

Oh lest I forget, for those of you in Marin county watchout now, Zuzu is heating up the highways and byways. I am so proud of you. But of course you can do anything you set your mind to now can't you!

I wish you Peace

~alison~


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