Work today was a wonderful distraction. As the clock ticks I am in month two of "the great job hunt" and though two months is not all that long in the "experienced" job hunt it is wearing us both down. I vacillate between denial (it�s not really denial so much as it is not dwelling on things outside your control) and obsessing (what will I do if�). When I am able to distract myself I can breathe, otherwise it feels like someone has my chest in a vice. Last night I was having trouble breathing. It doesn�t help that my Darling is trying hard but being human has bad days where he simply feels sorry for himself. Everyone goes through it even me but he has the unfortunate position of following my ex (the worlds first and foremost feeling sorry for myself , what about me, lets talk about me, out of work, lazy, why should I work if she will support me guy). I don�t want to over react but I also can�t afford to under react. And so the pendulum swings. I will be headed home soon. I will spend the evening ignoring the elephant in the middle of the room. When the lights go out and we are resting in the after glow the elephant will sit on us both and we will have trouble breathing let alone sleeping. Tomorrow it will begin anew. At least I know I will go off to work in the morning, work is a wonderful distraction. Wish my Darling could find a distraction.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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