Today
Yesterday
Diaryland

 photo Asian-Banner.gif

2005-04-11 - 4:23 p.m.

I'm chomping on the bit to have this cast removed. I am sleeping poorly because of the position I am forced into by the cast and although the itching hasn't been as bad as I expected the sheer inconvenience has just about toasted me.

Two more days�

Two more days and I will be set free from the cast that binds. Funny that this break came so close on the heels of my divorce as though there were some great big cosmic joker who was laughing at me �Sooo�you thought you were free, well how bout this?� Of course that is silly, it was an accident and tomorrow there will be some other �thing� for me to stumble over.

Existence is unhappiness.

In order to help a new fried (I hope) I was forced to take a good long look at the person I was, the life I had manufactured, and the path I took out. I wonder if I was just lucky or if there was some trigger that I could point to, some �defining moment�. I realized long before I actually quit drinking that when I did I would lose my marriage. My ex was not able to see the magnitude of his drinking preferring to focus on mine and meeting no resistance to his accusations of my drunken uselessness, blame any issues between us on the alcohol. There was, of course, a lot more going on and unfortunately (or possibly fortunately) I found my way and he stayed behind.

Funny too, that he sought out another alcoholic (more practiced than I) to run away from me with when I finally straightened out my life. When I wanted to be free of the alcohol more than I wanted him I just did what I needed to do. He fell apart before my eyes and because we had no children (and he had his new alcoholic relationship) I simply (well divorce is never simple so it really should be after you have tried) walked away.

I stand here now free of addiction, sore and still healing from broken bones, broken psyche and a broken heart but both the bone and the heart are on the mend and my Darling Beau, who doesn�t pry but holds me when I am sad, helps me to heal.

Two More Days!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish you Peace

~alison~


Leave a note:

to leave a note you need to be logged in



- - 2013-08-16

Darkness - 2013-04-18

Too much - 2013-04-09

Skip - 2013-03-03

- - 2013-02-07


earlier - later

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary 

at DiaryLand.com!