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2004-12-28 - 8:01 a.m.

Christmas has come and gone and after the house full of people at my Beau's house it feels wonderful to be sitting in a hotel in my home town. My Love was pleased with the presents I got for him and I had a wonderful Christmas complete with a rousing game of Yatzee which I lost but laughed heartily all the way through. My Love's family is warm and inviting with the same strangeness that we all seem to have in one form or another. It was a most joyous occasion and the best Christmas I have had since before I was married.

There was a small catch though. The newest addition to his family (his brothers girlfriend now fianc�e) took the time to assure me that it was OK that I was so much older than my Love and as long as we agree that children are out of the question why then no problem. She was the only one the entire visit to bring up my age (the rest of his family more sensitive to my feelings) and I was not immediately affected but as the day ended I found my mind returning to the topic of potential children or the lack there of. It�s not like she had brought up a new subject that I hadn�t been obsessing about but it affected me more than I thought. At the end of the day I found myself crying and having to explain my emotional breakdown to my Love. He was his usual loving supportive self and I am doing well now but I still can�t get completely away from the subject my mind.

I am going to show him my hometown today complete with the thundering waters (Niagara Falls). I will distract myself from my worries and continue to have the best Holiday ever.

Merry Merry!

I wish you Peace

~alison~


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