Tick, tick, tick, slowly climbing to the top of the lift hill, there is no stopping now no matter how slow the initial assent is the ride has already commenced and you have no choice but to hold on and ride the roller coaster to the end. Life has often been described as a roller coaster ride. Since their invention they have been a metaphor for human existance. This month is a particularly insane, six flags variety, monster coaster. I am just starting to feel the knot forming in my stomach and a tightness in my chest. I can tick of the days for you:

Dec 3 - I will celebrate 18 months free from nicotine addiction.

Dec 9 - I will attend the settlement hearing for my divorce and see what the settlement Judge thinks of my STBX's desire to avoid all responsibility of our debt.

Dec 10 - I will have been separated from my STBX for 10 months.

Dec 11 - I will through a baby shower for a dear friend complete with home made cake and games and such.

Dec 14 - I will be in court again for the spousal support (he is asking for support) hearing.

Dec 17 - My best friend will be 2 years free from nicotine (I must admit I'm glad she smoked because I would have never met her if she hadn't and I can't imagine where I would be right now without her support).

Dec 21 - I will fly to Michigan and meet my Beau's family for the first time.

Dec 25 - I will celebrate my first real Christmas in more than three years, I'm not sure I even remember what to do. Presents, that I remember.

Dec 27 - I will see my family and show my Beau around my hometown. Not much there for me but it is beautiful and like Christmas through a childs eyes I enjoy Niagara Falls best reflected in the eyes of someone who has never experienced their splendor.

Dec 31 - I will return to Michigan and ring in the new year with someone I love who loves me back which is so different from just one year ago.

Quite a ride don't you think?

Through it all I will have to work, clean, sleep, write, and well, live.

Tick, Tick, Tick

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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