I'm scarfing my lunch at my desk at work right now too busy to get a real lunch I was forced to choose something from the "wheel of death" lunch machine. I expect I will regret having eaten quickly and with poor descretion. I have been very busy preparing to go (and then not going) on a business trip that will probably be rescheduled for next week. This would not concern me except I have already rescheduled my Dr. appointment to go on this non-existent trip only to have to do it all over again next week.

I am not as out of control as I was this weekend but still not feeling "normal" (not that I ever do). I am beginning to feel better. My wonderful boyfriend has been supportive and understanding (though he doesn't really understand my illness he is quiet and comforting and that is enough for me). My level of frustration is still high and my patience low but I can feel the dark clouds lifting. I have ordered a book on living with this disease and I am hoping that it will help. No matter what I feel as though I can get through now matter how black I feel in the middle.

You can't damn me to hell I'm already there.

I have seen the beast and he lives inside me

He is eating me alive, he sucks on my marrow

All that is good is in me as is all that is bad

It's all about choices

You choose~Your path

You choose~Your life

You choose~To be

The Angel or the Beast

My brief respite from work is over and I must now return to the mill.

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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