I have just returned from an incredible (but short) trip north. Long though the drive was I am happy we were willing to make it because the city and sights we well worth the trouble. San Francisco is a small city compared to New York or even San Diego but it is packed with rich diversity and the cutest little town-houses I have ever seen. I fell in love with the architecture though I think the press of people would get to me eventually. Cities are not attractive to me as a place to live but a place to visit instead. It takes a certain type of soul to live so close to humanity. I like having land between myself and the rest of the world.

The redwoods north of the city were an awesome sight. My boyfriend and I opted for the Dipsea trail to the Ben Johnson trail which is approximately 4 miles. It was relatively deserted although we did encounter a few other brave souls along the way. Two things surprised me, the number of runners in the park (although I admit if I lived close I would probably run there too as I did in the parks back in Niagara Falls, my home town) and how loud people were moving through the park. I am overcome with the sense that any sound above a whisper is sacrilegious in a place of such splendor. In fact we encountered a small group of quail feeding on the trail at one point. As I quietly changed lenses on my camera to one which would allow me to zoom in on the lovely creatures a runner came along scattering them into the woods as I waited from them to return to the path loud hikers came along from the opposite direction and were startled to see us so quiet and intent on the path ahead. The quail did not go far nor return to the path and I fear that the light was to dim for the pictures that I took. Nature is obscured by the sound and fury of the human bustle. It is a wonder to me how anyone could stand amongst the ancient giants and not be struck dumb.

After my voyage into the tremendous redwoods I worked my way even more north in search of my virtual friend. I have been very lucky because I have been fortunate enough to not only find kindred spirits online but then meet them in the flesh. The addition of their mannerisms to my image of them has only increased the attraction I have to them. If you have not looked her up here, Zuzu_petals is well worth a read at all times. Her depth and gift for expression makes for an entertaining and thought provoking read. I hope she doesn't mind my recommendation but such people are so very rare (at least in my experience) that I think it is important to make her words as public as possible. I consider myself rich in calling her friend. I was gifted by her with a rich dining experience as well. If you ever find yourself in San Francisco do look up the restaurant (on Clement between second and third) called simply "Q". The ambiance is quite eclectic, prices very reasonable and the food worthy of a five star restaurant.

This, being the first trip with my boyfriend, was a bit of a test (as a friend told me it is the first "real" test of a relationship). I believe we passed with flying colors. I traveled extensively with my ex-husband and found the whole thing a bit stressful. Missed exits and such would elicit a long tirade that would send me into a funk that could ruin large chunks of the trip for me. I often had to miss things that I wanted to see if it was of no interest to him. Not only was my boyfriend easy going about getting lost he actually seemed to enjoy it stating that "getting lost is the best way to get to know a place". He was patient and, as my friend put it, gracious as I chattered away with her. I felt the guilt that accompanies doing something I really want to do that I am aware is an inconvenience to someone else but he assured me that it was his pleasure to give me this gift (and I believe him). It is an odd experience to be with someone who genuinely wishes to do things that will make me happy instead of always focusing on himself. I could get used to this (if I could just lose the knee-jerk response of assuming I will pay for anything that I do just for myself.) I find myself reacting as an abused child does, jumping at the least little perceived mis-step. How damaged I must appear to one who doesn't suffer from such dysfunctional habits. My shrink (and my best friend) believe that I have, by separation from my ex, outgrown the need for such defense mechanisms and need to find a way to sloth them off as I have my dysfunctional marriage. I agree but I am at a loss as to how best to do that.

Today will be a lazy day of lounging around and re-charging from the trip. I may do laundry I may not but I will think about the wonders of this short escape from my tedious life and how lucky I am to have both a good man and good friends to walk this treacherous road with.

I wish you Peace

alison

I wish you Peace

~alison~

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